


[Add]iction

by Harukawa



Category: Elsword (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Self-cest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-08
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-03-29 15:09:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 53
Words: 31,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3900814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harukawa/pseuds/Harukawa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Collection of drabbles featuring the various Adds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cuddling

**Author's Note:**

> These are all drabbles I've posted over on my [tumblr](http://psytracker.tumblr.com). Some were requests, some were just my own works. Updates will be sporadic.

“Th-This isn’t what it looks like! Don’t give me that look!” Time’s face flushes a brilliant shade of red as Arc stands over him, the former stumbling over his words in his attempt to explain what’s going on. “H-He just… I mean it’s not like I wanted to– Stop _looking_ at me like that..!”  


Arc, for his part, seems to be thoroughly enjoying the scene laid out before him. He’d only just returned home after conducting a bit of field research, and this was about the last thing he’d expected to see after walking through the door. Time was exactly where he’d been when Arc had left, seated on the couch surrounded by his research notes. Although now, for some reason or another, Psych was now sprawled out on top of Time, arms wound around the other in what looked to be some sort of death grip. Psych was also quite obviously fast asleep, if the obnoxious snoring and thin rivulets of drool slowly dripping from his mouth were any indication.

A laugh escapes Arc. “I never knew you were one for cuddling, Time.” He laughs again at the glare Time sends his way. “Oh, my apologies, I didn’t mean to interrupt anything… I’ll leave you two be so you can continue–”

“Oh no you don’t.” Time growls, managing to free one of his arms and latching onto Arc before the other can escape to safety. “Get him _off_ of me.”  


Arc immediately attempts to pull away. “Hey, don’t drag me into–”

Psych suddenly stirs in his sleep, causing the other two to freeze and redirect their attention to him. His eyes open, still glazed over with sleep as he blinks once, twice. His sleepy gaze lands on Arc, blinking once more before dragging his target closer and locking him into the same death-grip that’s holding Time prisoner. Within mere moments, the snoring begins anew.

“… _Now_ look what you’ve done.” Arc mutters, glaring daggers at Time.  


Time snorts in response, his voice taking on a mocking tone. “I never knew you were one for cuddling, Arc.”


	2. Puppy Love

"What are you doing now?" His one visible eye twitches in annoyance as his counterpart asks yet another question (and didn’t he ever run out of meaningless things to ask?). He glances up at the other from his seat, feeling almost disgusted by the (almost adorable) look of curiosity on Psych’s face.   


  
"Research." Time answers, gesturing at his computer and doing his best to keep his voice level as Psych hovers around him. "The same thing I’ve been doing the _last_ five times you’ve asked that question." He waves a dismissive hand, as if that will somehow get the other to finally leave him be.   
  
"…Oh." Psych frowns. "…Are you still trying to figure out how to get back..?" The frown deepens. "…Shouldn’t you take a break, Time? You’ve been at it for a while…"  
  
He lets out a sigh of frustration. “And shouldn’t you _start_ researching?” he asks, pointedly glaring at the other. “You’re pretty useless, you know.”  
  
The look Psych gives him in response almost makes him feel like he’s just kicked a puppy. “…You know I’m not good at that stuff…” Psych mumbles, eyes cast downwards. “Makes my head hurt going over all those algorithms n’ stuff.”  
  
Time groans, wondering why he suddenly feels like a bad guy in this situation. “Don’t pull that face.” he mutters, doing his best not to look directly at Psych. “Look… I’ll make you a deal.”  
  
"A deal..?" Psych perks up once more, obviously interested.   
  
"You’re pretty good at modifying your armour, right?" Time asks, smiling slightly when Psych eagerly nods.   
  
"Yeah..! Lusa showed me some new tricks the other day, did you know that if you…" Time simply lets him ramble for a few minutes, Psych’s face lighting up as he explains different modifications (and he can’t help but think hat if Psych had a tail, it would be wagging right now).   
  
"Okay, okay." Time holds one hand up to silence the other. "Calm down." Psych’s mouth snaps shut, blinking several times. "What I was getting at here is… You show me your armour research sometime, and I’ll help you out with this stuff." He gestures at his console. "You know… Time travel."  
  
"…Really?" Psych’s expression is so bright (cute? adorable? could he call it that?) that Time almost feels sick looking at him. "Oh man, Arc never wants to explain everything and you’re always so busy… You mean it?"  
  
"I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t mean it." Time mumbles. He scoots over to make room in front of his console, patting at the spot next to him in an indication for the other to sit down. "Come on. You’ve got a lot to learn."  
  
He’s not quite sure why he feels so hot when Psych sits next to him (a fever? something else?), not sure why his heartbeat becomes so erratic every time the other nudges him to ask a question. He doesn’t let himself dwell on it (at least, not now) focusing his attention on trying to teach Psych even the most basic concepts and settling in for what he’s sure will be a long evening.  



	3. Character Study: Mastermind

Research, research, research. Day in and day out, that was the only thing that was ever on his mind. Sleep could always wait (and if the constant aroma of coffee that surrounded him was any indication, it always _did_ ). He needed more knowledge, more know-how, more _advantages_ over everyone else, and he needed it all _now._ Power-hungry, some might call him. Manic, overly-ambitious, _obsessed._ Just a handful of things he’s been called (and oh, there were certainly more, _worse_ ).

His alternates were all fools, all wasting their time with such inane, trivial matters. Psych and Lusa were always fussing about with _armour_ upgrades, of all things (as if physical strength alone would get them anywhere, what an utter waste of life they were). Time spent his days poring over time travel data (unreliable and doomed to end in failure). Arc was the only one of the lot that had any sense to him, and even then Arc was nowhere near _his_ level (never _would_ be if he had any say in the matter).

And Esper… Esper was something else entirely. Something that was never supposed to happen, never supposed to _exist._ A being of irrationality, instability, anger, _hatred._ A failure, to be sure, but one that he wouldn’t at all mind taking apart piece by piece to analyse (an amusing plaything to toy with, to experiment on, _oh_ the things he might discover from such an entity…).

A smile, a crack of his knuckles as he refocuses on his work. Numbers and formulas scroll past his eyes as he flicks through his data, grin widening as he revels in his own knowledge. Obsessed, they called him. Dangerous. But what did it matter what they thought? He knew everything there was to know about them, about _everything._ Let them talk, let them make their threats. He knows their weaknesses, knows exactly how to tear each and every one of them down.

After all, he knew _everything,_ and there was no stopping him now.


	4. Slow Dancing

“Left foot.” Arc instructs, keeping a careful eye on Psych as the other struggles to follow his cues. “Now right. And turn, and--” He winces as Psych stomps on his foot for what was probably the twentieth time that afternoon. “...And _stop_.”  


“S-Sorry...” Psych mumbles, stepping away from Arc and sheepishly rubbing at the back of his head. “I didn’t mean to... I mean I thought the next step was...” He lets out a dejected sigh. “...Ugh, I’m really no good at this, am I?”  


“...Not really, no.” Arc mutters in response. He’s still not sure how _he_ had ended up being the one teaching Psych how to properly dance, but here they were with three hours of practice and hardly a thing to show for it. His feet were already throbbing thanks to Psych’s clumsy movements; he wasn’t sure how much more of this he was going to be able to take.  


“...Sorry.” Psych mumbles again. “I’ll get it right this time..! Promise! Just let me try again!”  


“You said that the _last_ ten times we tried this.” Arc sighs, shaking his head. Despite himself, he can’t quite find the will to say “no” when Psych gives him that _look._ That look that Psych _always_ gives him when he wants something from him, that look that makes Psych seem like some kind of sickeningly adorable puppy that’s _impossible_ to say no to. “...One more time.” He relents. “From the top.”  


Psych brightens up immediately, already spouting promises that he’ll get it right this time (he _swears_ ). Arc mentally prepares himself for the pain that he’s _sure_ will follow. “...Talk yourself through the steps, Psych.”

“O-Okay...” Psych takes a deep breath. “...First, face your partner. Your right foot should be uh... Pointed between your partner’s feet.” A brief moment of adjustment. “Then bow...” He offers a half-bow, to which Arc responds with an elegant curtsy. “Uh... Step forward, then... Steady your partner...” Psych moves closer and then loops his right arm around Arc, and Arc mirrors the movement with his left. Fingers brush together and entwine as their free hands are clasped together, Psych’s palm damp with sweat. “Start with your left foot...”  


“Good.” Arc murmurs, carefully watching all of Psych’s movements. “You have the basics down, at least. There’s hope.” He receives a brief smile from Psych in response to the praise. “Relax a little, you’re too tense.” Psych does as he’s told, and Arc finds himself relieved at how well this is going for once. “You’re doing well...” The constant praise isn’t necessary, he knows, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy seeing the excited look on Psych’s face every time he gives the boy a compliment. 

“Right. Left. Right. Now turn--” He steels himself, because this is always the part where things start to fall apart.  


“Then... Left...” Psych mumbles the steps to himself, and Arc finds himself amazed that Psych didn’t fumble this time, that they’ve even gotten this far. Maybe this wasn’t going to be entirely impossible.  


“...Psych, you’re doing really we **\--!!** ” And there it was, another blow to his already aching foot. “...Maybe I spoke too soon.”  


“S-Sorry! I’m sorry!”  


Arc sighs. It’s going to be a long day.


	5. Favoured Child

All he’d wanted was to pick up a few materials to upgrade his dynamos. That’s all he’d wanted, and he’d _sworn_ to himselfhe would just walk in, grab what he needed, and leave. Things never went that smoothly when he went to visit the Tracers.

“Yo, Add!” Psych is the first to greet him when he walks through the door, as enthusiastic as usual. “Hey! Hey! You should check out this new armour upgrade I figured out..! Man, I took it out for a test run earlier, and let me tell you…”

“Shut up, Psych.” Time is the next one to speak up (and Add is quietly relieved, because if _someone_ doesn’t tell Psych to shut up, he never stops). “Don’t get started on that _again_ today.” He glances over at Add now. “What’re you here for anyways?”  


He sighs. “I was just stopping by to pick up so—”

“Look, whatever it was can wait.” Time waves a dismissive hand. “I need someone to help me run some simulations. Arc’s got his own stuff going on and Psych is… _Psych_. So you’ll have to do.” Time receives a half-offended, half-confused look from Psych, which he simply shrugs off. “I’ll even teach you some of the basics while we’re at it, how’s that?”  


“…Look, I really just wanted to…”  


“Is that Add?” Arc appears next, and if Add could disappear at will he’d do it in a heartbeat right now.”Perfect timing, I need a test subje— Uh… _Assistant_. You’re free, right?”  


“No he isn’t.” Time argues, not giving Add a chance to speak for himself. “I need him. I get him first.”  


“Hey! I wanted to show him my stuff, too!” Psych joins in the argument, and soon all three of them are bickering over who he should go with.  


Add lets out an exasperated sigh, feeling exhausted just watching them.   
It was going to be a long day.


	6. Character Study: Arc into Mastermind

Things were fine, at first. Pleasant, one might even say. While their interests were quite varied, all three of the Tracers still exchanged research notes, still helped each other out where possible. Time was a genius when it came to the mechanics and calculations of time travel, Psych was unmatched when it came to Nasod armour, and as for Arc… His speciality was the dynamos, of course.

It was great for a while, having so much information to pull from. Because Arc _always_ wanted to know more, _never_ had enough information to sate his own curiosity. The other two helped, and he loved them for that.  
But things change. People change.   
Everything falls apart.

Time’s interest in going back to the past became obsessive, dangerous. The boy would lock himself up for days, sometimes weeks, poring over calculations and probabilities and threatening anyone who dared to interrupt him.   
Arc found out the hard way that his threats weren’t simply idle.

Psych was almost the opposite, forgoing further research in favour of chasing down his problems personally. He became reckless, dangerous. Any and all of Arc’s efforts to keep him under control, to calm him down, were in vain.   
Some started calling him “Lunatic”. Arc called him hopeless.

He didn’t have the other two to rely on any longer, had no one to share his own findings with. It was fine, he told himself, he didn’t _need_ them. Let Time destroy himself with his own twisted obsession. Let Psych devolve into some useless brute. _He_ wouldn’t end up like them. _He_ was better than that.

He devoted himself to his studies, testing, field work… There was always more to learn, he never had enough knowledge. It was never enough. And if the others wouldn’t share any longer… Well, he could always _take_ it from them, right?  
Some started calling him “Mastermind”.   
  
He liked the sound of that.


	7. Clarity

He has moments of clarity sometimes. Brief, sporadic, frightening. It scares him, remembering who he is, what he’s done. The monster he’s allowed himself to become. (Did he simply allow it? He hadn’t wanted this had he?)

It’s the same every time. Memories flash before him. A library filled with long-lost technology. Strings of data on a dim screen. The feeling of family, of being loved and cared for. His mother’s smiling face. It’s always the same. It always breaks him. 

It’s Arc he always seeks out, Arc he always goes to for comfort. Only it’s not Arc any longer, is it? Hasn’t Arc changed, just like he had? It’s still Arc’s name he mumbles like some sort of mantra as he clings to the other (and he either doesn’t hear the corrections of “That’s not my name any longer.” or he doesn’t care). 

The other simply lets him cry. A hand absently strokes through his hair as Mastermind offers him meaningless words and empty promises. It’s not warm, not kind. Not like Arc was. But it’s all he has, the only anchor to keep him in place as he weathers each storm. 

It hurts.


	8. Armoured Geeks

“Lusa!” Psych waves eagerly as the older man approaches, bounding towards him like some sort of over-excited puppy. “You’re here!”  


“Well, yeah.” Lusa blinks several times, keeping a close eye on Psych as the boy starts wandering around him. “Told ya I’d come.”  


“Where is it?” Psych looks him up and down, impatience written all over his face. “I wanna see! You gotta show me!”  


“A’ight, a’ight, calm down, kid.” Lusa scratches at the back of his head, frowning slightly. “An’ back up some… Don’t want ya gettin’ hurt or nothin’.” He pushes Psych away from himself, though the boy slowly edges close again the instant he lets go. Well, he’d have to just learn the hard way. “Don’t say I didn’t warn ya. Here goes..!”  


There’s a flash, and Psych falls over backwards as a stream of plasma completely surrounds Lusa. “Ya wanna see what a _real_ armour upgrade can do, kid?” Lusa asks, grinning. He’s bathed in an eerie blue glow now, plasma rippling over his body with every movement. Psych’s eyes go wide as he nods in response, too awed to even remember to stand back up. Lusa’s eyes scan the horizon for a moment, before he eventually points to a tree a fair distance away. “…Ya see that?” Psych nods. “’M gonna _punch_ that.”

He disappears the instant the words leave his mouth, and it takes Psych a moment to realise that, no, he hadn’t disappeared, he’d just become _impossibly_ fast. Psych couldn’t even _begin_ to keep up with Lusa’s movements as the Psyker darts this way and that, clearly showing off his speed. It wasn’t until he actually lands a punch on the tree that Psych’s jaw drops. 

Sparks of plasma emanate from Lusa the moment his fist makes impact, forming a small beam that also fires upon the helpless target. This repeats with every blow Lusa lands, until (mere seconds later) there’s nothing left but a smoking stump. Lusa is standing in front of him not a moment later, still grinning. “Well?” He dismisses the plasma. “Whad’ya think?”

“That was…” Psych slowly picks himself back up now, hands curling up into fists. “That was… That was _awesome..!”_ He punches one fist into the air. “Oh man, how did you figure that out? What kinda upgrade was that? You gotta tell me! That was incredible!”  


“Ah geez, kid…” Lusa scratches at his cheek, a faint blush spreading across his face. “Y’r embarassin’ me…” He laughs, placing one hand on Psych’s shoulder. “A’ight, though… Lemme see what ya’ve done with yours so far… I’ll show ya a few tricks.” Psych’s eyes grow even wider, like he can’t believe what he’s just heard.  


Lusa is almost afraid the poor kid might faint from excitement. “…What’d I just sign m’self up for..?”


	9. Lusa fights the sun

“…What th’ _fuck_ is that thing?” Lusa asks, squinting his eyes as he stares off at some distant point in the sky.  


Mastermind sighs, already sure he doesn’t want to hear whatever Lusa is about to ask him. “…What is _what,_ Lusa?”

“ _That.”_ Lusa points this time. “That… Gross yella’ thing in the sky.”  


“…That “gross yellow thing” would be the _sun_ , Lusa.”  


“’S makin’ me all sweaty. I don’t like it. Th’ fuck is its problem?”

“…Lusa, it’s–”  


“’M gonna _fight_ it.”  


“Lusa you can’t _fight_ the– _”_  


 _“’M gonna_ _ **fight** __it_.”  


Mastermind shakes his head, deciding that it isn’t even worth the effort to argue with this imbecile. “Fine. You do whatever you want, Lusa. Fight the sun.”

————

It’s dark. It’s dark and Mastermind is almost afraid to find out why. He’d heard near-deafening noise, followed by Lusa’s shouts of “ _Woo-hoo! Knew I could do it!”_ He groans to himself, using one of his dynamos as a light source and wandering outside. He’s not at all surprised to see Lusa standing there, looking much too pleased with himself. Lusa’s grin only grows wider once he notices the other’s presence, and he waves Mastermind over.

“’Ey! Mastermind! Guess what?” He doesn’t wait for a response before launching into an explanation. “So, I spent _weeks_ workin’ out new dynamo n’ armour functions, right? Th’ sun’s too hot f’r me to actually _go_ there so… I had to adjust my power t’ be able t’  _launch_ a shot that far. And! It fin’lly worked! Check it out, I _told_ ya I was gonna fight the sun!”  


“…Lusa.”  


“Yeah?”  


“…You just doomed an entire solar system.”  


“…Oh.” A moment of silence. “…Fuck.”  



	10. Fondness

“…Wouldn’t it make more sense this way, though?” Arc asks, frowning slightly as he points at a section of the diagram Mastermind has pulled up on his console. The two of them are seated next to each other, Mastermind having agreed to teach Arc a thing or two earlier in the day. He couldn’t say he’d expected it to drag on _this_ late into the evening (was it past midnight already?), but Arc seemed to be enjoying himself.  
He couldn’t exactly say he minded the company himself.

Mastermind shakes his head, pulling up another diagram. “No… See, it’s more efficient if you reroute the power source this way…” He pulls up a few more notes, and Arc’s eyes grow wide as he processes all the information he’s being given.

“…Oh. _Oh.”_ Arc looks impressed. “I see what you’re saying now… Wow, you really thought this through…” It was cute, Mastermind thought, watching Arc’s reactions to his findings. There was always a moment of deep thought as the boy went over everything Mastermind showed him, until finally one could almost _see_ a light bulb appear above his head as he fits everything together.   


“Here… You can even take that and apply it like this…” He pulls up yet another diagram, starting to explain everything on the screen. He goes on for a while, Arc going quiet beside him as he goes through various explanations. “And in some cases you could even…” He trails off, blinking when he feels something leaning against him.  


It’s Arc, he realises, the boy apparently having fallen asleep at some point (and it had gotten rather late, hadn’t it?). A sigh escapes his lips as he watches the other for a few moments. It isn’t until he finally decides to gently push Arc away that the other reaches out and grabs onto his arm, clinging to him. Mastermind freezes, and Arc scoots even closer to him, still fast asleep even as he snuggles himself up against Mastermind’s side.

He quietly watches Arc for a few moments more, debating with himself on what his next move should be. A roll of his eyes and a sigh.  
Despite himself, he can’t quite bring himself to leave Arc by himself. “…Just this once.” he mutters under his breath, leaning his own head against Arc’s before closing his eyes.

After all, loneliness was a feeling he knew all too well.


	11. High Schoolers

“So you just add the remainder over here and… There’s your answer.” Time glances up at Psych after explaining the problem, only to realise that Psych wasn’t even paying attention to the work. In fact, Psych was staring directly at _him_. “…Psych, _why_ did you invite yourself over for a study session if you aren’t even going to pay attention to what I’m showing you?”  


“…Hm?” Psych only now seems to realise that Time is even speaking to him. He yawns, stretching both arms above his head before dropping them, one limb gracefully looping around Time and dragging the other closer to him. “…I didn’t really need help or anything. I just wanted your attention.”  


“Th-That’s…” Time averts his eyes, face burning. He hated how straightforward Psych was at times. “…Why didn’t you just ask to hang out, then?”  


“Because you never _want_ to.” Psych whines. “You’re always so caught up in your studies, I never get to _see_ you anymore.” He pulls Time even closer, leaning in and nuzzling up against the other boy. “I miss you. I get lonely, y’know.”  


“…Y-You see me every day at school.” Time mumbles, face growing redder. “I eat lunch with you every day. We walk home together. I pay plenty of attention to–” His voice catches in his throat as he feels Psych’s lips press up against his neck, leaving trails of soft, careful kisses.  


“…That’s not the kind of attention I’m talking about, Time.” Psych plants a kiss on his cheek now. “…I finally got you alone. To myself. We’re not at school.” His other cheek. “ _Pay attention_ to me.”  


Time takes in a deep breath. Exhales. Nods.  
“…Sorry to keep you waiting.” he mumbles, before claiming Psych’s lips with his own. It isn’t long before they’re both holding the other close, sprawled atop their long-forgotten homework as they make up for lost time.  



	12. Nasod Control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings for Eye Trauma**

“Done... It’s finally finished.” Add stares down at the tiny orb in his hand, a grin slowly spreading across his face as he rolls the object across his palm. “How long has it been now..? Months? Years?” He laughs, a painful, forced sound. “...So long I’ve lost track of the time.” He glances around himself, at the dusty and decrepit library he’s been trapped in for what felt like a lifetime. Not any longer though. Not now. Not with _this_.  


He picks up one of the dynamos he’d been working on before his new project, flipping the device over in his hand. He’d finished rigging these weapons together a while back, but he couldn’t get them to respond to him without some sort of device to control them. He wasn’t a Nasod, after all, it wasn’t as if they were simply wired to him. ...But they _could_ be.  


Anyone else would have made something safer. A control rod maybe, something with limited functions that posed little to no risk to the user. Not him. He didn’t want any sort of limits on his control, he wanted full access. He wanted his weapons of choice to respond to his every thought, his every desire. And that, unfortunately, required a few sacrifices on his part.

He rolls the miniature sphere between his fingers, still grinning. It’s not the sort of smile you’d see on the face of someone who was happy (or someone who was _sane_ ), but the kind you’d see on someone who was _desperate,_ who had all but run out of options. “...I’d better get this over with, yeah..?” He sets the tiny device down carefully before tossing the dynamo into a pile with the other five he’d created. “...No use in putting it off any longer.”

He picks up a scalpel, running water over the instrument as he attempts to prepare himself. Pain was something he was used to, right? He’d spent so much time as a slave, been whipped and beaten every time he made a mistake or stepped out of line. Sometimes he hadn’t even done anything; his pain was simply used as amusement for his masters. He was used to that, right? Somehow, this felt different.

He lifts the scalpel now, his hand trembling as he points it at his left eye. That was no good, he couldn’t afford to be nervous in the middle of this, couldn’t afford to mess things up after he’d finally gotten this far. He takes a deep breath to steady himself. He’s come too far, waited too long to allow himself to ruin this now. He could do this. This was the final step. His hand steadies itself and he takes one last breath before plunging the blade into his eye.

Pain like he’s never imagined shoots through him, engulfs him. His hand slips, dragging the scalpel in a jagged line down his face before it clatters to the floor. His hand clutches at where his eye used to be, and whether it’s tears or blood seeping out of the hole, he isn’t sure, isn’t sure he even _wants_ to know.

“...The device...” His voice manifests itself as a pathetic whimper, trembling just as much as the rest of him is. “I-I... I have to...” He reaches one hand out, groping for the sphere he’d set down earlier. “I-I just have to--” He finally finds what he’s looking for, grabbing onto the device before hurriedly shoving it into his now-empty eye socket.  


A scream tears through his throat as a new wave of agony washes over him. It’s worse, it’s so much _worse_ than before, this foreign device attempting to fuse with his body. Was it supposed to _hurt_ this much? He drops to his knees, desperately clutching at his eye as his body shudders with pain. “It hurts...” he mumbles, voice breaking. “It hurts, it hurts, it hurts... Mom, it...”

He falls to the floor, consciousness fading.

\------------

He’s not sure how long he’s been out, how long he’s been pressed against the cold, hard floor of the library. He slowly picks himself up, staggering to his feet before opening his eyes. He blinks once, twice. Breathes a sigh of relief.

It still hurts; that aching, throbbing pain in his eye isn’t likely to stop anytime soon. It hurts, but it _worked_. He could still see, so it had to have worked, right? He stumbles over to his dynamos, staring at them for a long moment before finally willing them to move. And move they do.

All six of them respond to his thoughts, hovering before him in an orderly line as they await his next command. “...It worked.” he breathes. “Hahah... It worked. It actually.... Ahahaha... Ahahahaha!! It worked!” His laughter reverberates off the walls of the library, a smile slowly spreading across his face once more.

“...I’ve finally done it. I can finally get out of this miserable place.” He turns, his dynamos lining up behind him. “And once I do... No one will be able to stop me.”  



	13. Kindness & a Crush

Time was always dragging him around, always showing him this or that and bragging about how well his research was coming along. Add didn’t mind it, not really, even if he wasn’t entirely sure _why_ Time seemed so insistent on having him around. He might never admit to it, but the company was… pleasant. Comforting.

“See..?” Time gestures at the screen before them, pointing out a specific string of data. “Once I get that algorithm worked out…” There’s a brief smile on Time’s face, and he can’t help but stare at it. **(** _He never smiles. Time never smiles. But he looks so… He looks beau–_ **)**  “Well… I’ll be close.” Time glances over at him, and he has to quickly redirect his attention towards the screen **(** _Please don’t have noticed me staring at you, please don’t… Oh god, what if my face is red and he can tell?_ **)** If Time noticed anything, however, he doesn’t mention it, the other’s attention turning back to the screen.   


“Hey… Time..?” His voice is hesitant, almost fearful.  


“Hmm?” Time looks back at him once more, and he can feel his cheeks heating up again from something _that_ trivial.   


“Wh-Why…” A pause as he debates following through with the question. “…Why are you always showing me this stuff..? Your research, I mean.” **(** _You don’t show the others this much. It’s only me._ **)**  


“…I wonder.” Time muses, rubbing one hand against his chin. “…Because I remember what it’s like, I suppose.” Add offers him a confused look in response. “…Being young. Lost. …Scared. Having everything taken away from you.” A frown. “…And it is scary… isn’t it? Being stranded in some timeline you were never supposed to be a part of.”  


Add slowly nods. “…I still miss it.” he mumbles. “…Home, I mean.”

“…Yeah.” Time agrees. “I do, too.” He looks up at the console once more. “…That’s why, I guess. I just… want to make sure you won’t give up yet. I want to make sure you know there’s still hope.”  


“…Time..?” He reaches out now, hesitantly grabbing Time’s hand with his own.  


“Hmm?” Time glances down at their hands, but says nothing, doesn’t pull away.  


“…Thanks.”  



	14. You don't have to be alone

“Ah, geez…” Lusa groans, stretching his arms above his head as he stumbles through the doorway. He kicks the door shut behind him, a little too hard if the new cracks in the wall are any judge. “’M beat…” he mumbles, all but throwing himself onto the couch without any regard for the person already seated there. “Could go f’r a nap.”  


Esper hisses in displeasure as Lusa flops over beside him, eyes starting to turn dangerously dark. “Ah, shut up, Esper.” Lusa grumbles, sitting up. “Lighten up f’r once.” There’s another hiss before Esper turns his attention back to the TV in front of them. “…What’re ya watchin’ anyways?” Lusa mumbles, following Esper’s gaze. “…This is…”

Lusa falls silent for a while, simply watching the movie Esper seems so focused on. From what he can gather, it’s a depressing story about a young, orphaned child with no friends, family, or place to call home. It doesn’t take a genius to realise why Esper would be so fixated on it, and he can’t help but feel some strange sense of sympathy towards his alternate. Esper definitely wasn’t the nicest guy, but Lusa could still understand _why_ he’d turned out the way he was.

“…’Ey. Esper.” The other’s attention doesn’t leave the movie, though Lusa knows he’s listening anyways. “Ya don’t gotta be alone all the time, y’know.” He frowns, pausing for a moment to find the right words. Motivational speeches weren’t exactly his strong point. “…Ya got me n’ Mr. Smartass around. We’ve all lost somethin’. We know what it’s like. We ain’t ‘xactly _family_ , but… We’re here. ‘Member that.” Esper never responds, his attention firmly rooted on the television. Lusa eventually sighs, shrugs, lets his eyes fall closed.  


He’s not sure when exactly he’d fallen asleep, though it wasn’t too much of a surprise given how _tired_ he’d been. What _was_ surprising was the fact that he had a pillow under his head and a blanket covering him. He hadn’t had those before, had he? And hadn’t Esper been here, too..? And that meant… He sits up, scratching at his head and yawning. “…Maybe ‘e ain’t so bad after all.”


	15. Restless Nights

Something’s not right, he thinks to himself as he rolls over in bed. Something’s not right because there’s something else in bed _with_ him. No… not some _thing,_ but some _one._ And whoever it was had a _very_ tight grip around Lusa’s waist. “Wha—?” Lusa sits upright as best he can, yawning and looking down to see who exactly had broken into his room. He expects to see Psych, as the kid often came to him whenever he was troubled with nightmares. He didn’t expect… _this._

“…Esper?” he mumbles, not quite believing what he’s seeing. He rubs at his eyes, blinks several times, looks again. It’s not just his mind playing tricks on him; Esper is actually in his bed, clinging to him like a child would a stuffed animal. “…What th’ hell..?” He places one hand on top of Esper’s head, meaning to push the other off of himself. Or… that was his intention before Esper started mumbling in his sleep.  


“…Home…” Lusa freezes, watching the other carefully. Esper’s face contorts into an expression of anguish, his voice quiet and desperate. “…Home… I wanna… I wanna go home…” He can feel Esper’s body trembling against him, can feel Esper’s grip on him tightening as a single tear runs down his face. The phrase is repeated over and over. “I wanna go home… I wanna go home…”  


“…Ah, geez.” Lusa mutters, gently ruffling Esper’s hair before removing his hand. “…We all jus’ wanna go home.” he mumbles to himself. He waits until Esper stops trembling, until he stops crying and settles back into some semblance of normalcy. “…Ya didn’t ask f’r any a’ this… did ya?” Lusa mumbles, watching the slow rise and fall of Esper’s chest. “…None a’ us did.” He sighs, laying back down and opting to just let Esper be. He’d deal with whatever happened in the morning when the time came.   


“…’M sorry, Esper.”  



	16. Kissing: Lusa and Esper

It’s a desperate sort of kiss; rough, needy, _aggressive_. Esper’s lips mesh with his own as his fingers reach up to tangle in the other’s hair, gripping and pulling hard enough to earn himself a dangerous growl of warning. Lusa takes it as an invitation, a _challenge_ , sharp fangs sinking into Esper’s bottom lip until he can taste the metallic tang of blood. It drives him _wild_. 

He smirks into the kiss as Esper gives him an indignant cry, fingers tightening in his alternate’s hair once more as he all but forces his tongue into Esper’s mouth. The taste is far from pleasant, but he doesn’t care. He has Esper shoved up against the wall, hands finally leaving his hair to roam other parts of Esper’s body as his tongue explores his mouth. Esper’s own hands claw at his back, leaving behind painful red trails that won’t fade for days. 

He only withdraws once Esper bites down on his tongue, pulling back and glaring at the other. “…If ya wanna play rough… ’M game.” Another smirk, another growl, and they both lean in for round two.


	17. Hug it out

The tension in the air is nearly palpable as Psych and Time stare each other down, both of them eyeing the other with looks that spelled “death”. “Eh? You wanna say that again?” Psych growls, taking several menacing steps towards his alternate.  


“I said you’re an _idiot.”_ Time repeats, refusing to budge as Psych advances on him. “Your upgrades are utterly _useless_. It’s a waste of time and resources. You’ll _never_ amount to anything.”

One can almost _see_ Psych’s temper flare up at those words. He lunges forward again. “Oh yeah?! Let’s see how cocky ya are after _ **–?!**_ ” He’s cut off in the middle of his threat, six dynamos suddenly generating an electric field between the two arguing Tracers.

“…Will you two _shut up_ already?” Arc stands between them now, yawning loudly. “ _Some_ of us are trying to get our beauty sleep in.”  


“He started it!” Psych insists, pointing an accusatory finger at Time. “I was just going to _finish_ it!”  


“And _I’m_ going to finish _both_ of you if you don’t calm down.” Arc threatens. A sigh, and Arc’s dynamos rearrange themselves so that three are pointed at each of his alternates. Electricity crackles dangerously as they hover dangerously close to their respective targets, and both Psych and Time nervously eye the devices. “Hug it out.” Arc states. “Go on.”  


“…You can’t _seriously_ expect me to–!” Time starts up a complaint, only to be briefly shocked by one of Arc’s weapons.  


“…Do I _look_ like I’m joking?” Arc rolls his eyes. “I’m sick of you two imbeciles bickering all the time. Come on. Hug each other. Get along for once in your lives.”  


After a bit more prodding from Arc’s dynamos, Psych and Time awkwardly pull each other into an embrace. Both their faces turn a bright, embarrassed shade of red as they’re forced to prolong the hug. “…There.” Arc mumbles. “Isn’t that nice? I almost want to take a picture to mark the occasion…” He finally calls off his dynamos, and the other two quickly jump apart from each other, both of them throwing flustered glances at the other.

“Now _get along.”_ Arc orders, yawning once more before trudging back to his room. “…Next time I have to break you two up you’re _really_ gonna get to know one another.”  



	18. Test Run

He’d thought the hard part would be _making_ the dynamos. He’d thought after all the programming, the refinement, the tinkering… That was supposed to be then end of the difficult stuff, wasn’t it? They were synced to respond to his every thought instantly… He’d never have imagined there would be _this_ steep a learning curve.

A frustrated sigh escapes him as he stares at the six dynamos floating before him, eyes narrowing into a glare as if the machines themselves were somehow at fault for his incompetence. “…I don’t have _time_ for this.” he grumbles. “ _This_ part wasn’t supposed to take long.” He clicks his tongue, ordering his dynamos to arrange themselves into two groups of three at his feet. “I’ll get it this time.” he mutters to himself.

He meant to use the devices for travel. After all, being propelled by the machines was so much faster than he could ever hope to be on foot. All he had to do was balance himself on top of the dynamos, and they could take care of the rest. It sounded easy enough, in theory.  
Putting it into practice was another story.

He hops up onto his dynamos, having already learned the hard was that trying to step onto one set at a time was a terrible idea. He throws his arms out in a desperate attempt to balance himself, limbs flailing for a brief moment before he finally settles. He freezes for several seconds, blinking several times as he realises he isn’t falling over this time. A brief smile crosses his face. So far, so good.

“…This isn’t so bad, after all.” he scoffs. “Those were just flukes before! This is like second nature to–?!” He throws his arms out once more the instant he wills his dynamos to move, losing his balance in mere seconds and tumbling to the ground. “…That’s it.” he mutters, not bothering to pick himself up off the floor just yet. “These things obviously need another upgrade.”  



	19. First Aid

“…You’re late.” Esper mumbles as he hears the front door open. He doesn’t bother turning to look, already knowing exactly who it was. “You’re _late.”_ he repeats, an irate edge to his voice. “You kept me—” He pauses, finally glances over at the other.  


“…Sorry.” Lusa manages, one hand clutching his side as he stumbles a few steps forward. Esper says nothing, doesn’t make any move, though his eyes grow noticeably wider as he carefully looks over his alternate, gaze settling on the blood seeping out from between Lusa’s fingers. “I sorta… Took on more’n I could handle…” He takes another step, his movements careful, slow. “I’ll be fine tho—” He doesn’t make it much further, grimacing in pain before collapsing on the spot.  


Esper is by his side in an instant, moving so quickly that one might almost call it teleportation. There’s a pained noise of protest as Esper grabs hold of Lusa, dragging the other to the closest chair before setting him down in it. “…Medicine. Stay put.”

“Esper, ya don’t gotta—” He sighs as Esper darts off again, rolling his eyes once the other returns with what looks like a high-end potion. He immediately shakes his head. “Don’t waste yer _potions_ on me; shit’s expensive. I _told_ ya I’ll be—”

“ _Shut up._ ” Esper warns him, all but forcing the potion on him and making sure he drinks the whole thing. “…It’ll help.” And help it does, as Lusa can already feel himself starting to go numb.  


“…Thanks, Esper.” Lusa mumbles.  


“Mm.” Esper watches him for a few moments longer, his gaze uncomfortably intense. “…Lusa.” He gestures at the Psyker’s wound. “…Who?”  


“…Found a Nasod facil’ty near Altera.” Lusa admits, sighing. “Looked promisin’, figured I could handle m’self.” Esper nods once, his eyes darkening to a dangerous black. “…’Ey, Esper, ya ain’t gonna—”  


“…I’ll take care of it.”  


“’Ey, wait, don’t—”  


“I’ll kill them.” Esper seems to zone out, his eyes taking on a faraway look that Lusa recognises all too well as a sign that he’s long gone. “I’ll take care of it. I’ll take care of it. Don’t worry, I’ll…”  


“Esper—!” It’s too late, Esper taking off with nothing but that dangerous, crazed laugh as his parting words. “Well… if it’s him he’ll be a’ight… Right..?”  



	20. Sleeping Aid

He’s not alone when he finally stumbles into his room in the dead of the night, yawning loudly and stretching his limbs as he gets himself ready for bed. Esper trails after him, like he always does now, movements so quiet and fluid that they’re almost unnerving. Another yawn, and Lusa flops heavily onto his bed, throwing one arm over his eyes. There’s a brief silence before he moves his arm, one eye peeking out to settle on Esper, whose attention seems to be focused a little too closely on him.

“…Ya gonna lay down or ya jus’ gonna stand there n’ _stare_ at me?” he asks, frowning. Esper only blinks at him in response. “…Yer a creep, ya know that?” he mutters. “ _Siddown_ already.” His alternate finally complies, gingerly perching on the very edge of the bed, attention still firmly rooted on Lusa.

“…Tha’s a start, I guess.” Lusa rolls his eyes, sitting up and laughing when the sudden movement causes Esper to flinch. “I ain’t gonna hurt ya or nothin’.” He reaches one hand out, placing it on Esper’s head and ruffling his hair, laughing once more when the action leaves Esper’s hair in complete disarray.   


“…Lusa.” Esper’s voice comes out as a whine, almost like a pouting child.   


“…A’ight, a’ight.” Lusa fixes Esper’s hair, running his fingers through the strands over and over again. Esper’s hair is soft, fluffy; probably the only thing about him that Lusa would ever consider “cute”. Well, maybe the reaction was, too.  


Esper’s eyes slowly close as Lusa continues petting him, offering a vague noise of contentment before his breathing finally slows. Lusa keeps petting him for a few moments more, finally pulling away once he’s completely sure the other is asleep. He sighs, carefully moving Esper so that he was laying down before pulling the covers over top him and flopping himself back down on the other side of his bed. It was uncomfortable, at first, having Esper sleep over with him. But for some reason, it actually seemed to _help_ his troubled alternate, and it wasn’t _entirely_ unpleasant having someone else around. “…’Night, Esper.” he mumbles, closing his own eyes and drifting off to sleep.


	21. Night Terrors

It’s been nearly a week now. An entire week that Add had spent staying over with his eldest alternates. He’d been appreciative at first, almost touched that they would even offer to let him stay here when he had nowhere else to go. That was at first. Now, after the sixth night in a row of being woken up in the middle of the night, he was starting to rethink just how well this arrangement was working out.

Screaming. Esper was screaming _again,_ just like he did almost _every_ night. He wondered how the other two put up with this _every single night_ , how they always looked _fine_ in the mornings when he himself looked like some sort of sleepless zombie. He couldn’t _stand_ it.

He grinds his teeth together, grabbing his pillow and pulling it over his head in a vain attempt to simply block out the noise. It does little to help, and his irritation only rises when Esper doesn’t _stop_. He lets out a frustrated groan, kicking off his covers and stomping his way out the door and down the hall towards Esper’s room. He couldn’t keep living like this, couldn’t keep himself going off of just a couple restless hours of sleep every night. He had to do _something_ about Esper.

He stands in front of Esper’s door, one fist raised to bang against it before he freezes. Esper’s not screaming anymore, and, in fact, he’s pretty sure his alternate is… crying? That definitely _sounded_ like crying to him. A sick, twisting feeling settles in his gut; could he really yell at someone who was _crying_  like that? He shakes his head, scolding himself. He couldn’t let himself feel sorry for Esper _now_.

He takes a deep breath and bangs on the door, mildly surprised when it flies open and slams against the wall. He can see Esper jump, quickly sitting up in his bed to focus on him. “ _Look.”_ he growls, stepping into the room with as much angry bravado as he could muster. “”We go through this _every night,_ and I’m _sick_ of this already.Can you just _**shut up** _ for once and let the rest of us get some _sleep?!”_

Esper simply stares at him for a long moment, seemingly shocked into silence at his outburst. He’d expected some sort of response, unsure of what to do next when the other was only _watching_ him. “…Hey, did you—”

Add’s voice trails off into a small squeak when Esper is suddenly right in front of him (and how did he move that fast?), eyes narrowing and attention focused solely on _him_. “…Maybe you’re the one who should shut up.” Esper mumbles. “…Here. I’ll even help you with that.” Esper’s eyes shift to a dangerous black, an unnatural energy surrounding him.

Add doesn’t get the chance to apologise before his life flashes before his eyes.


	22. Saviour

“Now, now...” Mastermind mumbles, briefly glancing at his unwilling test subject as he sifts through various medical tools. “Calm down. The more you struggle the more painful this is going to be.” Esper glares at him, only straining further against his restraints in a vain effort to free himself. Mastermind had tricked him earlier, had strapped him down to a table in his lab all the while claiming that this was for his own good, that this would _help_. Esper didn’t understand how _this_ was helping _anything_.  


“Let me _go..!_ ” he snarls, twisting and writhing as he desperately fights to free himself. **(** _I’ll kill you as soon as I’m free. I’ll kill you I’ll kill you I’ll kill you_ **)**  


“In due time.” Mastermind picks up an empty syringe now, slowly approaching him. **(** _Don’t come near me with that don’t come near me with that get it away from me don’t come near me_ **)** “It’s a miracle you’re even still _conscious_ with as much anaesthetic you’ve been injected with.” The syringe is jabbed into his arm, and he snarls again as blood is taken from him.  


Blood. Could you still call it that? The dark, oily liquid that flowed through his veins? “...Black.” Mastermind comments, pulling the syringe out and holding it up to his face. “...Why is it black? And it’s too thin...” He makes a soft humming sound, retreating from Esper and dropping a few vials of the liquid onto a glass slide for closer examination.

“Let me go.” Esper reiterates, still keeping up his struggle. “Let me _go_.” His movements are slowing down, weakening as whatever Mastermind put into him finally takes its toll. His arms and legs ache with a raw pain, sore from straining against his bindings for so long.  


“Later.” Mastermind mumbles, his mind elsewhere as he slides the sample of “blood” under a microscope and sits down to study it. “...You’re valuable, you know. So much about you is... _wrong._ And this...” He gestures at the “blood”. “...I wonder how you’re still alive. That’s part of what I aim to find out. I have a feeling the information could be... vital.”  


“I don’t _care_.” Esper whines. “I don’t care what you want from me just let me go let me go _let me goletmegoletme--”_  


He’s cut off when the door bangs open, both his and Mastermind’s attention immediately shifting towards the newcomer. “...Not _you_.” Mastermind groans, hurriedly standing back up. Esper, for his part, feels an almost immediate sense of relief flood through him. **(** _Lusa. Lusa. Lusa. Lusa’s here._ **)**

“’Ey, Mastermind!” Lusa barges into the lab, glancing around. “Have ya seen...” Lusa’s voice trails off once he spots Esper, eyes quickly flicking over to Mastermind, back to Esper. A dangerous, _angry_ expression settles on his face as his attention redirects to Mastermind one more time. “...What. Th’ _fuck._ D’ya think yer doin’.”  


“Research.” Mastermind answers matter-of-factly. “Think about it, Lusa. We have so much we could learn from Esper. He’s been exposed to so much ** _\--!_** ” He doesn’t get the chance to finish that statement before Lusa’s fist collides full-force with his face, sending him flying backwards and slamming heavily into the wall.

“ _Look.”_ Lusa surges forward, grabbing Mastermind by his collar and hauling him up into the air before slamming him against the wall once more and pinning him in place. “I don’t fuckin’ _care_ what yer tryin’ t’ find out here. ‘M willin’ t’ overlook most a’ yer fucked up excuses for _experiments_ n’ fuckin’ _research_. But _this_.” Lusa growls, using his free hand to punch an impressive hole into the wall just centimetres away from Mastermind’s face. “Ya even _think ‘_ bout so much as _touchin’_ Esper again, n’ that pretty face a’ yers will be fuckin’  _unrecognisable_ by th’ time I finish with ya. Ya got that?” He drops Mastermind, turning on his heel and heading back towards Esper.  


“Sorry, Esper.” Lusa mumbles, fumbling with the restraints for a moment before growing frustrated and opting to just tear them apart instead. “Didn’t realise he’d pull somethin’ like _this_. Fuckin’ prick.”  


“Lusa.” Esper clings to him the instant he’s free, repeating his name over and over again as if it were the only word he could remember. “Lusa. Lusa. Lusa.”  


“...Geez, what all did he fuckin’ _do_ t’ ya..?” Lusa leans down, scooping him up in one fluid motion. “Let’s get ya outta here...” The Psyker throws one last disgusted look towards Mastermind, who is still in the process of picking himself back up. “Tch. Shoulda roughed him up s’ more.”  


“...Should have killed him.” Esper mumbles, black eyes narrowing as he focuses on Mastermind. “...I’ll do it. I’ll kill him. I’ll kill him, I’ll--”  


“Not right now ya won’t.” Lusa mutters, exiting the lab and carrying Esper out with him. “Ya gotta fix yerself up before ya go tryin’ t’ fuck someone else up.” A sigh. “...Let’s get ya patched up ‘fore the two a’ ya kill each other.” Esper doesn’t say anything further, simply clings to Lusa while thoughts of revenge swirl around in his mind.  



	23. Revenge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to the previous chapter.  
>  **Warnings for extreme violence**

Anger wasn’t a strong enough word. Resentment, rage, _fury;_ closer, but still not quite enough. Lusa’s mind is a muddled mess of emotions and violence as he storms through the halls. Electricity crackles along his body, white-hot and out of control, periodically striking anything unfortunate enough to be near him. A single thought repeats itself in his mind, over and over. **(** _I’ll kill him. I’ll kill him. I’ll kill him._ **)**

He doesn’t pause when he reaches the door to Mastermind’s lab, doesn’t bother knocking. It’s locked, of course, like it always is. It doesn’t matter; there wasn’t anything that could keep him out. Not now.

The door slams open, falling off its hinges as he steps into the lab. Bright pink eyes quickly scan the room, narrowing when they find their target. “... _You.”_ His voice manifests as a low rumble, a clear warning sign.

Mastermind frowns at him, looking relatively unconcerned with the sudden intrusion. “...And to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?” he asks, sighing. “Look, Lusa. I _really_ don’t have time for this right _\--?!_ ” 

Lusa surges forward, one hand firmly gripping Mastermind by his collar and dragging the other man closer. “I don’t really _care_ what ya’ve got time for.” He growls, baring sharp fangs. “I’ve got fuckin’ _business_ with you.”  


“...Is this about Esper again?” Mastermind asks, face still as expressionless as always. “...It is, isn’t it?” The scientist makes a humming noise. “...What is it with you and him? You’re oddly protective of him.”  


“Doesn’t matter. Ya _know_ I told ya not to touch ‘im again. I’m gonna--” He’s cut off, one of Mastermind’s dynamos firing at him and forcing him to release his hold on his target to dodge backwards.   


“Oh, I know what you told me.” Mastermind grins, all six dynamos lining up before him. “I can’t afford to worry about your inane threats. I can feel it, Lusa. I’m on the verge of an incredible discovery. Esper’s the key. I _need_ him, you see.” A grin. “...He cried last time, you know.” Lusa blinks, shakes his head. He doesn’t want to listen to this. **(** _Stop talking. Stop talking right now._ **)**    


“...Shut up.” **(** _If ya say one more word I’ll kill ya._ **)**  


“He even called out your name, like he expected you to come _save_ him again. Pitiful, really.”  


“I told ya to _shut up!”_ He lunges towards Mastermind once more.  


“You’re so predictable, Lusa.” Mastermind’s eyes narrow. “...Idiot.” Mastermind’s dynamos reconfigure themselves, all six of them opening fire on Lusa as he charges.

He knew, of course. He knew exactly what Mastermind was going to do, was always just one step ahead of him on the battlefield. His own dynamos take the shots for him (and he’ll have to repair those later, he knows), while he himself charges not at Mastermind, but at the man’s weapons. He snatches one of the dynamos out of the air, crushing it in his hand before reaching for the next. “What are you--?!” It’s too late by the time Mastermind realises what’s happening, the last remaining dynamo thrown to the ground and crushed beneath Lusa’s heel.

“...That’s more like it.” he mumbles, grinning. “Ya need those, don’t ya?” He nods at the scraps of metal on the ground. “Ain’t much of a fighter without yer dynamos, are ya? So...” His grin widens.   


“Wait, Lusa, just _ **\--!**_ ” Lusa charges right at him, forcefully slamming into him and sending him flying into the far wall.  


“Let’s have a little _talk_.”  


\------------

Pain. The sensation floods through him, overwhelms him. He’s only vaguely aware of what’s happening, can feel himself make impact with _something_ (the wall? had he been thrown that far?), is fairly certain he felt something _break_. He slides to the floor, disoriented.

“Let’s have a little _talk.”_ Lusa’s voice sounds far away, somehow _too_ far. His vision is a burred mess as he tries to reorient himself, mind finally starting to process what all had happened. He isn’t given the luxury of time to dwell on it.  


A hand is placed on his head, fingers tightly gripping his hair and _pulling,_ forcibly hauling him upright. Another lance of pain as he’s forced to support himself. **(** _Ah... my leg.  My leg is... broken..?_ **)** Another violent yank of his hair, and this time he cries out. **(** _Stop it, stop it, it hurts._ **)**  “Does that hurt?” Lusa asks him, yanks once more. “I sure hope so. Ain’t nothin’ compared t’ the shit ya done t’ poor Esper.” A growl, and he’s slammed up against the wall once more.

“I let ya go last time.” Lusa brings one knee up to slam into his stomach, a fresh wave of agony rolling through him as the wind is knocked out of him. Everything blurs once more, black spots erupting across his vision as he struggles to keep himself together. “That was a mistake on my part.” Another blow to his stomach. The taste of blood invades his mouth. **(** _Stop it. Stop it, Stop--_ **)**  


His head is knocked back against the wall, teeth painfully clacking together. “I ain’t gonna make that mistake again.” Lusa finally drops him, and he immediately falls to the ground. “Ya’ve gotten too dangerous f’r yer own good, Mastermind.” Lusa’s places his foot on Mastermind’s injured leg, slowly applies pressure. **(** _Don’t. Don’t don’t don’t don’t please don’t--_ **)** “I gotta knock ya down a peg or two. ...’S f’r yer own good, y’know.” A scream tears through his throat as Lusa puts all his weight down on his leg, and if it wasn’t broken before, that sickening  _snap_ told him that it _definitely_ was now.

“...Pathetic, ain’t ya?” Lusa finally steps back, and Mastermind almost cries when the pressure finally lets up. He squeezes his eyes shut, tears leaking through as he struggles to cope with the overwhelming amount of pain. “...Quit ya cryin’. I ain’t done w’ ya jus’ yet.” **(** _Not done? How much more could you possibly--_ **)** Lusa crouches down next to him. **(** _No more. Please, no more._ **)** “’Ey...” Lusa crawls on top of him now, straddling his waist and keeping him effectively pinned to the floor. “Tell me... If I were t’ break one a yer bones... Which one d’ya think would hurt th’ most?”  


He doesn’t answer, _can’t_ answer, can only whine and shake his head in response. **(** _Please don’t please don’t please don’t_ **)** Lusa blinks, frowning slightly. “...Ain’t gonna answer me?” A grin. “Guess I’ll have to pick for m’self.” His grin turns feral, _dangerous_ (and he’s vividly reminded of _why_ Lusa was referred to as a lunatic). “Ah, but... since ya didn’t answer... I’ll be breakin’ more’n jus’ one.”

“L-Lusa...” He finally manages to find his voice, desperate and pathetic as it is. “Isn’t this enough..?”  


Lusa doesn’t bother with a response, eyes roving over his body as hands trace over selected areas. “Yer arms, maybe..?” A shake of his head. “...Fingers? Maybe I’ll tear ‘em off. See how well ya can research without ‘em.” Lusa’s hands finally settle on his chest. “...Ah, I got it. What about yer ribs, huh?”

“D-Don’t...”  


Lusa laughs at him, a crazed, _terrifying_ sound. “Does that scare ya?” One hand rips his shirt open, and Lusa’s eyes slowly look over his exposed chest. “...Yer scrawny, huh?” One hand traces the outline of his ribs. “...Make’s it easier t’ find what ‘M lookin for.” Lusa presses down on one of his ribs, ever-so-slowly increasing the pressure.

“S-Stop it... Stop it--!” There’s a disgusting _snap,_ and another scream leaves him as agony overtakes him once more.  


“One down.” Lusa’s still grinning, hands already moving to his next target. Another _snap._ “Two.” Another. “Three.”  


He keeps screaming.

_Snap._

He begs, but to no avail.

_Snap._

_“Please, please, stop it--!”  
_

_Snap._

He can’t keep track of how many he has left, can’t even hear Lusa’s count any longer through the sound of his own shrieking.

_Snap._

His voice finally gives out, deteriorating into choking sobs. It hurts. Everything hurts.

_Snap._  
Snap.  
 **Snap.**

He can’t think through the pain, doesn’t even realise that it’s finally _stopped_ until Lusa climbs off of him. “...Ya still with me, Mastermind?” He can hardly make out the words. “Ya can’t give out on me jus’ yet. We still ain’t done.” **(** _Not done..? No... No, what more could he possibly..._ **)**

He can’t even cry out when Lusa drags him upright, pain exploding through him once more when he’s carelessly slung over Lusa’s shoulder. “That was jus’ _my_ punishment.” His vision fades in and out, and he’s barely able to register what Lusa is saying. “Esper gets a turn, too. He’s _really_ lookin’ forward to it.”

Panic grips at his heart. **(** _Not him. Not him not him not him don’t give me to him_ **)**

“It’s been nice knowin’ ya.”  



	24. Accents

His body feels sluggish as he drags himself out of his seat, joints aching as he finally moves for the first time in what had probably been _hours._ Mastermind glances at the time, sighing when he saw that it was already past eight in the morning. He was going to need another pot of coffee at the rate his work was going. Maybe two.  


He grumbles to himself as he shuffles out of his room, dynamos trailing behind him as he slowly makes his way to the kitchen. “...Mornin’.” A quiet voice greets him once he reaches his destination, and a quick glance tells him that Esper is sitting on the kitchen counter. He thinks it strange that the other is up and about this early, but then again, Esper was always unpredictable.

“...Good morning.” He mutters in response, grabbing an empty coffee pot and setting about preparing his drink. He stifles a yawn, crossing his arms and leaning against the counter as he waits. His attention turns towards Esper. “...You’re up awfully early.”  


Esper shrugs, lightly kicking his feet against the cabinets. “Had a hard time sleepin’. Figur’d I’d jus’ stay up.”

Mastermind falls silent for several long moments, simply _staring_ at Esper. Was he hearing things right? Was this Esper he was talking to or Lusa? Just how tired _was_ he? “...Esper.”

“Hmmmmm?”  


“... _Why_ are you talking like that?”  


“I dunno what yer talkin’ about.” Esper grins. “Ya got a problem w’ my speech?”  


“I... _Yes.”_ Mastermind offers an irritated groan, bringing one hand up to his face and pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers. “It’s too early for this.”  


Esper giggles, a sound that sets Mastermind’s teeth on edge. “Lusa said ya’d hate it. He was right! Hehe, look’it yer face..!” He kicks his feet again, loudly banging against the wood this time. “Maybe I’ll jus’ keep doin’ it.” Esper’s grin widens at the look of displeasure on Mastermind’s face. “’S fun!”

“I’m _so_ glad you’re enjoying yourself.” he mutters, snatching up his pot of coffee and hurriedly beginning the trek back to his room. He didn’t care that his drink hadn’t had anywhere near enough time to finish, only wanted to get away from this _nuisance._  


“Leavin’ so soon, Mastermind?” Esper offers him an overly-enthusiastic wave, laughing once more. “See ya later, then..! I’ll look forw’rd t’ it.”  


Mastermind lets out a long sigh as soon as he steps back into his room, tired eyes glancing at his half-finished work, then shifting to his bed. “...Forget it. I’ll sleep.” 

There was only so much he could deal with in a day.


	25. Future Self

Alternate timelines, alternate selves. Time knew these things existed, of course. How else could you explain the three of them? The Tracers were all the same person, in a manner of speaking.   


It had been strange at first, getting used to the idea that there was more than one of him. Even stranger finding out how _different_ they all were. Psych was so full of life, so eager (sometimes dangerously so) and ready to take on anything. Arc was much calmer, more reserved; fond of exchanging ideas and collecting information. And then there was him, a recluse who was stubbornly stuck in the past and determined to return to it.

He’d grown used to it, though, had even grown fond of his two alternates (and was that strange? enjoying your own presence this much?). He hadn’t expected to find even _more_ alternates.

He definitely hadn’t expected them to be their _future_ selves.

_Psych’s was the first._   


“No way..! You’re me?!” Psych had been all over his new alternate, rapidly walking in circles around the newcomer and excitedly asking questions. “Whoa, can I check out your dynamos..? And your armour, what all is it capable of?” Psych was so pumped up about the whole thing that Time was actually excited _for_ him.  


The man had laughed in response, scratching at the back of his head. “Lunatic Psyker” was how he’d introduced himself, though he’d insisted that they just call him “Lusa”. “Slow down, kid.” Lusa mumbled, grabbing onto Psych and holding him in place in an effort to calm him down. “I’ll let ya check ‘em out later, a’ight..?” He’d thought it strange how different the man’s speech was.

Lusa was kind enough to the three of them. The Psyker wasn’t at all opposed to teaching them (much to Psych’s delight), and wasn’t exactly unpleasant company. Despite the friendliness, Time couldn’t help but think something was _off_ about him. Something distinctively different from Psych. Something dangerous and, at times, _terrifying_. He could never quite place it, never quite managed to voice his concerns. He was sure it didn’t matter.

He’d grown hopeful when Lusa had mentioned Arc’s future self, had inquired about his own soon after. Lusa had simply avoided his question though, had changed the subject as quickly as possible.

Something about the look that had crossed Lusa’s face unnerved him.  
He told himself it was nothing.

_Arc’s was the second._

Arc seemed happy enough, finally getting to meet his own future self. There was a definite resemblance, much like there had been with Psych and Lusa, and Arc had near immediately launched into some sort of convoluted and lengthy conversation with him. Time could hardly even begin to keep up.

“Mastermind” was what he called himself. Time simply called him “Pretentious”.

Mastermind hardly spent any time with them, at least, not like Lusa did. Any time he ever dropped by was just to check in on something he’d asked Arc to look into (and he couldn’t understand why Arc just let the man _use_ him like that). He was never around them, not really. Time couldn’t say he minded; there was something about the man that made him feel uneasy every time he came around. 

Maybe it was the way Mastermind _looked_ at him, like he was studying him, _waiting_ for something. Maybe it was the way his questions about his _own_ future self were once again brushed aside, this time with a knowing smirk and taunting laugh and an “Are you sure you want to find out?”

He could never quite answer that question.

_His was the last._

“Esper”. That was the name his own alternate gave, the grin on his face too wide as he waves in greeting to them. He hung back, simply watching as Arc and Psych approached this newcomer. Something about him was _wrong_. Couldn’t they tell? Couldn’t they sense it?  


His future self _seemed_ innocent enough, quietly conversing with the other two Tracers and answering their questions as best he could. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right, that he didn’t want to be near this person. That he _shouldn’t_ be near himself (was it supposed to be like that?).

It was only when Psych had pushed him forward that he’d introduced himself, and Esper had stopped, _stared_. “Time... Time. Time, Time, Time...” That unsettling grin again. “Ah. ...That was me, wasn’t it?” It had taken everything he had not to recoil in disgust when Esper grabbed him, both hands holding onto his face, fingers tracing the outline of his eyes.

“It hasn’t happened yet..?” Esper sounded disappointed somehow, though that smile never wavered. “It will. It will. Just wait, it will.”  


He wanted to pull away, to get as far away from this man as possible. He didn’t. Couldn’t. He had to ask.

“...Wh-What... What will happen..?”  


Esper had laughed, a sound that still haunts his dreams at night. “Everything. Nothing. ...This.” _Black._ Esper’s eyes had turned pitch black, and every ounce of his being screamed at him to get away from his alternate. A series of images flashed through his mind, violent and disorienting and _sickening,_ not stopping until he’d clutched at his head, until he’d yelled at Esper to stop it, _make it stop already_

Psych apologising for pushing him towards Esper. Arc asking him if he was okay, if he needed anything. That was what he’d woken up to. He’d lied, told the others to leave him, said he’d be fine even as he sifted through the images that had been burned into his mind. As that laugh echoed in his head. As his hands reached up and covered his eyes.

He was fine.  
He was fine.  
He was fine.

It was the lie he repeated to himself until the day his eye turned black.


	26. College AU: Pranks

Lusa sighs as he steps into his dorm room, pulling the door closed behind him before kicking his shoes off and slowly shuffling towards his bed. It isn’t until he flops over on his mattress that his roommate decides to greet him. “Oh, you’re back already?”

“Already..?” he repeats, groaning. “Been out all damn _day_.” He glances over at Esper now, irritated. The other boy is lounging on his own bed, munching on some chips while flipping through the channels on the TV. “…Esper, did ya even _go_ ‘t class today?”  


[[MORE]]

“Nah.” Esper shrugs, finally settling on watching some upbeat cartoon. “Hmmmmm. You look stressed, Lusa.” He only nods in response, rolling his eyes. “Mmmm. Go take a shower. Helps you relax, you know.”

He finds it an odd suggestion coming from Esper, even odder accompanied with that too-innocent _smile_ on his roommate’s face (because Esper was the _furthest_ things from innocent, and Lusa knew that all too well). He can’t deny that the idea is tempting though, eventually nodding in response. “…A’ight. Ain’t a bad idea.” He ignores the childlike laughter from Esper, choosing to believe the boy was simply laughing at whatever show he’d finally decided on.

He was wrong, of course.

“Esper!” He storms out of the bathroom almost immediately after his shower is finished, completely forgetting to even so much as wrap a towel around himself before confronting his roomie. “What th’ _fuck_ did y’ _do_?!”  


Esper looks his way as he storms back in, eyes glancing downwards. “…Are you trying to show off, Lusa?”

He can feel his face heat up further thanks to the _look_ on Esper’s face (and is he trying to..?). “Th-That’s not–! Look, don’t go changin’ th’ fuckin’ subject!” He points at his hair, which was now dyed a bright, bubblegum _pink_. “What th’ ever-lovin’ _fuck_ did y’ do?!”

Esper blinks several times, staring at his hair for several long moments. The boy bursts into a fit of laughter moments later, falling over on his bed and clutching at his sides as he laughs himself to tears. “Ahahahaha! Oh, wow! _Look_ at you!” He can feel his anger rising with every word Esper says. “Heheh, oh man.” Esper can hardly even manage to speak through his laughter, attempting to calm himself just enough to explain. 

“Look, look, I uh… I didn’t think I put _that_ much in your shampoo. It was just supposed to _tint_ your hair pink, you know?” Another round of laughter is just barely suppressed. “But this is _great! Look_ at you! Aren’t you just _cute?_ ” Esper finally collapses into another fit of laughter, this time falling off his bed.

“…Esper.” The only response he receives is yet more laughter. He grits his teeth together, taking a brief moment to pull on a pair of track pants before charging over to where Esper lay on the ground and stomping none-too-lightly on the boy’s stomach. He finally cracks a smile at the look on his roommate’s face.  


“L-Lusa…” Esper coughs several times, weakly clutching at his stomach as he hurriedly scrambles to his feet and backs away. “H-Hey, it was just a harmless prank.”  


“ _Esper_.”  


“I didn’t mean any–”  


“Esper, y’ got five seconds. _Run.”_  


Esper doesn’t need any further prompting, taking off like a shot and bolting out the door. He waits five seconds, even gives Esper an extra two. He knows he’ll catch up.

“Rest in fuckin’ pieces, Esper.”  



	27. "Brothers"

Time hates visiting their alternates. Psych and Arc drag him along each and every time (”You need to take a break every now and then!” “It won’t be that bad!” “It’s just for a few hours!”), and each and every time he _hates_ it. This time was no exception. He isolates himself the moment they walk through the door, mumbling a rushed greeting to both Lusa and Mastermind before seating himself on the far end of their couch. Esper was nowhere to be seen, and he hopes, _prays_ that it stays that way.

Arc and Mastermind both take up residence on the other side of the couch, far enough away from him that he wasn’t disturbed. He can already hear them droning on about “new discoveries” this and “interesting test subjects” that. They weren’t as bad as Psych and Lusa, at least. _Those_ two were both excitedly exchanging combat tips, and _loudly_ at that. He sighs to himself, nervously fidgeting with his dynamos as he waits for this visit to be over with already.

He nearly jumps out of his seat when he feels a tap on his shoulder, whirling around a little too quickly to see who it was. His heart nearly stops when he realises it’s Esper. “Hello, Time.” Esper offers him smile and a wave that’s just a little _too_ enthusiastic. “…Can I sit here?” 

“No.” He turns away, attention returning to his dynamos once more. “Leave me alone.”  


“…Ah.” Esper sounds disappointed, almost sad. “There’s nowhere else to sit, though.”  


“Then just _lea–”_ His voice trails into a groan when Esper hops over the couch to sit beside him anyways. The man pulls his legs up onto the couch, sitting cross-legged and placing his hands on his ankles as he leans closer, like some sort of overgrown child that wanted attention.   


“…You always avoid me.” Esper comments, tilting his head to the side. “Why?” **(** _Because you shouldn’t exist. Because everything about you is wrong. Because I don’t want to end up like you._ **)** He merely shrugs in response. “…The others all get along.” Esper gestures at the other two pairs, all of them happily interacting with each other. An odd look crosses Esper’s face (sadness? longing?), but it’s gone just as quickly as it appeared, replaced by a too-innocent smile. “…I want to get along, too.”

“I don’t want to be your friend.” he insists, hoping that will be enough to shut the other down. It isn’t.  


“Friend?” Esper repeats the word, blinking. “Friend… Friend…” A shake of his head. “No, no, no. Not friends.” Esper leans even closer, grabbing both of his hands and holding onto them. “Brothers.” A smile, and Time can’t help but think that this one looks _genuine_. “Little brother Time.”  


“That’s…” He can’t quite bring himself to pull away from Esper, even though the man scares him, even though he’s always _sworn_ to himself he’d never have anything to do with him. Something about Esper looks so sad, so _lonely_ (and wasn’t that how he felt? he’d never admit just how alike they both were), and he finds himself actually thinking it over. A quiet sigh escapes him, and he gives a single nod. “…Brothers, then…”  


Esper’s smile grows wider, and he releases Time’s hands to clap his own together. “Perfect!” Something about Esper’s smile seems to turn almost sinister, and Time can feel a chill run down his spine at the man’s next words. “…I’ll take good care of you, little brother.”

He already knows he’s going to regret this.


	28. Unheeded Warnings

He’d been told not to go near Esper, under any circumstances. Don’t approach him, don’t make eye contact with him, don’t talk to him… Psych didn’t understand _why._ What was so bad about Esper that Lusa was _constantly_ warning him against getting near the man? He had no idea, since Lusa would never directly answer any questions about Esper.   
Well, he supposed there _was_ another way to find out.

“Hey!” He approaches Esper finally, after triple-checking to make sure Lusa wasn’t anywhere nearby. He offers the man a friendly smile and an energetic wave, moving to stand in front of him. Esper blinks, staring at him for a few seconds as if not sure what to make of him, before offering his own tentative wave in response. “I’m Psych!” He offers his hand to the other, still grinning.  


Esper stares at his hand for a long while, finally grabbing it just as Psych moves to pull it away. “…They call me Esper.” the man mumbles, gripping his hand a little _too_ tightly. “Psych… Psych… You’re…” Esper lets go of his hand, looks him over once more. He’s offered a slight smile. “…You’re Lusa’s Tracer.” Esper’s hand reaches out once more, settling itself on the top of Psych’s head before ruffling his hair. “…You’re soft.”

“U-Uh…” Esper doesn’t stop touching him, fingers running through his hair almost as if he were petting him (and maybe he was). “Hey… What are you..?” He frowns, batting Esper’s hand away and taking a step back. The _look_ Esper gives him in response deeply unnerves him, and something tells him he should have just let the man do what he wanted. “U-Um, look, uh… I just wanted to…” His voice trails off into a quiet squeak when Esper suddenly closes the distance between them, grabbing onto his face with both hands. “U-Uh–!”

“’Ey!” He almost sighs in relief when he hears Lusa’s voice, and Esper lets go of him almost immediately. The Psyker immediately moves to stand between them. “What th’ _hell_ did I tell ya about gettin’ near Psych?” Lusa growls, glaring at Esper. “And _you.”_ He flinches as Lusa turns on him now. “ _How_ many times did I tell ya t’ never get near him?”  


“S-Sorry…”   


“…Yeah, y’ better be.” Lusa shakes his head. “…F’r fuck’s sake kid, d’ya know how badly this coulda ended?” Lusa turns to face Esper again, only to realise that Esper is no longer there. “…Th’ hell did he..?”  


“…You worry too much, Lusa.” Psych freezes, because that voice came from _right behind him_. “He’s cute.” He jumps when he feels two lithe arms wrap around him, desperately looking to Lusa as Esper holds him too closely for comfort. “Mmmm, I _like_ him.” He feels something press lightly against the top of his head (and did Esper just _kiss_ him?), before Esper vanishes once more. This time he doesn’t reappear.   


“Is… Is he… Always like that..?”   


Lusa shakes his head. “…Worse, usually.” A sigh  “…I warned ya, kid. Esper ain’t gonna leave ya alone now, I reckon. Tends t’ latch onto things he likes. …I’d know.” Psych makes a sort of strangled whining sound, already nervously looking around. 

He wished he’d just listened to Lusa.


	29. Family

“...That’s not right.” Lusa mutters to himself, letting out a long sigh. He’s seated at his work bench, hunched over his dynamos as he attempts to fix the damage done to the machines in his last battle. It’s been _hours_ already, and his progress has been slow at best. “’Ey, Esper. Hand me m’ soldering iron.” He glances up at the man in question, who is currently perched on top of his work table, legs dangling off the edge and not quite reaching the ground.  


Esper blinks several times, taking a moment to realise that Lusa actually _wanted_ something from him. After a few moments of fumbling around and making an unnecessary mess of his work space, Esper finally holds the tool in question out towards him.

“Thanks Esp--?” Esper pulls the iron away from him as soon as he reaches out for it, holding it above his head and out of reach. “Th’ hell d’ya think y’r doin’? Gimme that.” He swipes for it once more, only for Esper to raise it even higher. “ _Esper.”_  


“...What do you say, Lusa?” Esper asks him, an all-too-innocent smile on his face.  


“I-- Y’ can’t be serious. Esper would y’ jus’--”  


“I’m not doing anything until you say the magic word.”  


He groans, covering his face with one hand. “... _Please_ give me th’ soldering iron.” he mutters. He can hear a childlike giggle from Esper, and he uncovers his face once the other finally hands him the tool.

“Sure, Lusa.”  


“...Y’r a nuisance, y’know that?” he mutters. “Th’ hell are ya even hangin’ around here f’r? Jus’ t’ bother me?”  


“No. I like watching you work.” Esper shrugs before falling silent once more, simply swinging his legs back and forth and watching Lusa a little too closely.   


“...Huh. A’ight, whatever.” He finally returns to work, a comfortable silence settling over the both of them, only broken by his own occasional cursing when things don’t go quite as smoothly as expected. He’s not sure how long it’s been (hours?) before Esper finally speaks up again.  


“Hey. Lusa.”  


“...What?” He doesn’t bother glancing up from his dynamos, another brief string of curses leaving him as he makes yet another mistake.  


“What are we?”  


“...Huh?” He does glance up at Esper now, confusion clearly etched across his face. “...What are ya askin’ here..?”  


“...You and me.” Esper points at himself, then at Lusa. “What are we?” Lusa blinks several times in response, freezing up as he ponders exactly how to answer that question (because it was something he’d wondered himself, wasn’t it?). “...Are we friends?” Esper tilts his head to the side, looking right at him.  


“...Friends.” Lusa repeats the word, testing it out. It doesn’t seem quite right to him, not for them. “That’s... Uh...”  


“...Are we not..?” There’s an obvious look of disappointment (maybe even _hurt_ ) on Esper’s face, and Lusa fumbles for an adequate reply to remedy the situation.  


“Uh... I mean, well...” A sigh, and he finally pushes himself away from his work bench to properly focus on Esper. “...Geez, this really ain’t somethin’ ya c’n just... _spring_ on me like this.”  


“...I only asked a question...”  


“I _know,_ but...” Another sigh, followed by a long silence. Esper simply stares at him as he attempts to collect his thoughts, waiting patiently. “...Y’ could call us friends, I guess.” he finally mumbles, not quite making eye contact. “That doesn’t... feel entirely accurate, though.”  


“Then, what are we?”  


“...Uh.” He takes in a deep breath, unsure of how to voice his own thoughts (and what _was_ the correct term for them, he wondered? “friends” wasn’t close enough, but anything else felt too...) “...Fam’ly, maybe.”  


“...Family.” Esper repeats the word, voice quiet (and for a brief moment, Lusa panics, fearful that it was a word he shouldn’t have used). “Family. Family.” A small smile appears on Esper’s face, happy, genuine. “...Lusa’s my family.”  


“Y-Yeah, I’m... we’re...” He can feel his face heating up, and he hurriedly returns to his work. “...We’re fam’ly.” 

Esper doesn’t ask any further questions, simply continues watching Lusa at work, humming happily to himself as he repeats the other’s words in his head.


	30. Early Mornings

Lusa yawns loudly as he stumbles into the kitchen, stretching his arms out above his head and blinking blearily as he attempts to wake himself up. “Breakfast... breakfast...” He mutters to himself as he searches through the cabinets, eventually pulling out a box of cereal (packed with protein, of course) and pouring an excessive amount into a bowl. He fills his bowl with milk moments later, grabbing a protein bar off the counter before wandering over to the kitchen table and sitting himself down to eat.   


“...Good morning, Lusa.” He pauses when he hears a voice, freezing with his spoon halfway to his mouth. Mastermind is sitting across from him, his dynamos fixing him a cup of coffee as he looks over today’s news reports.  


“...Oh. Mastermind.” Lusa finishes where he’d left off, shovelling a spoonful of cereal into his mouth and proceeding to talk through it. “Ya don’t us’ally stick around in th’ mornin’s. What’s th’ occasion?”  


Mastermind throws him a vaguely disgusted look. “...Don’t talk with your mouth full, you _uncultured_...” A sigh. “There’s no occasion. I simply wanted a change of scenery.” 

“I bet.” Lusa mumbles, continuing to talk as he eats (much to Mastermind’s displeasure). “Y’ been cooped up in y’r lab f’r... what, it’s been a couple’a days now, ain’t it?”  


“...Lusa, it’s _hasn’t--”_ Mastermind cuts himself off, apparently deciding the correction wasn’t worth the hassle. “...Yes, it’s been a few days now.” A brief pause. “...Is Esper home?”  


“Yeah.” Lusa jerks one thumb back towards the direction of his room. “Still sleepin’, I think.”  


“He’s still sleeping with you?” Mastermind raises one eyebrow, his attention finally fully shifting to Lusa. “You’re fine with that?” Lusa nods. “...That’s surprisingly charitable of you.”  


“I ain’t about t’ jus’ turn him away.” He shrugs. “He has nightmares if he sleeps alone, ya know that.” He stops to take a few more bites, this time waiting until he’s swallowed to speak once more. “...He’s had it worse’n both a’ us. An’ it ain’t like he’s got anywhere else t’ go... I mean... Who’d even _consider_ helpin’ out someone like him?” A troubled look crosses his face. “...I’unno. I do what I can for him.”  


Mastermind makes an inquisitive humming noise. “...So it’s out of pity for him, then? That’s why you’re so kind to him?”

Lusa blinks, shaking his head. “...Huh? That's--” His voice cuts off when he feels something press down on the top of his head. “Wh--” Someone’s arms loop loosely around his neck, the person’s chin resting on the top of his head. He doesn’t need to look to know exactly who it is (and just how much of that conversation had he heard?). “...Mornin’, Esper.” 

“Good morning, Lusa.” Esper mumbles in response, grip tightening into some semblance of a hug. Mastermind is offered a quick glance and a half-hearted wave, but no formal greeting. “...I’m hungry.” Esper lets go of him, moving to sit on top of the table next to Lusa, facing away from Mastermind.  


“...Get off th’ table y’ fuckin’ animal.” he mutters, though makes no real attempt to make Esper move. “...Here.” He unwraps his protein bar before handing it off to the other. “It’ll fill y’ up.”  


Esper looks at it for a few moments, as if not sure what to think of it. The man finally takes a small bite, immediately pulling a face. “...It’s gross.” He tosses the offending food over his shoulder, very nearly hitting Mastermind with it. “Lusa. I want pancakes.”

“Then go make ‘em.”  


“ _Lusa.”_ Esper crosses his arms, giving Lusa a look that said he’d better get up _now._  


Lusa groans, pushing his chair back and slowly getting to his feet. “...A’ight, a’ight. I’ll make y’r damn food.” Esper jumps off the table, clapping his hands together in excitement and trailing after Lusa as he heads back into the kitchen. “...Oh.” Lusa pauses once he notices Mastermind starting to slink off, almost causing Esper to run right into him. “Y’ headin’ off already, Mastermind?”

“Mm.” Mastermind gives him a dismissive wave. “...I don’t think I’m needed here. I’ve seen all I need to.”  


“...Huh?” Lusa watches him walk off for a few moments longer.  


“ _Lusa.”_ Esper starts whining again, pushing him to start moving once more. “I’m _hungry.”_  


 _“_...Uh, oh, yeah. Sorry, Esper.” He shakes his head. “C’mon.” He starts grabbing what he needs, setting about making Esper his breakfast (while Esper himself simply hovers too closely too him and gets in the way), all the while wondering just what exactly Mastermind had been getting at earlier.  



	31. Attempted Guidance

A frustrated sigh escapes Lusa as he runs one hand through his hair in agitation. Installing new armour upgrades was always a slow, demanding task, and this time definitely wasn’t any different. “…Can’t jus’ be easy f’r once.” he mutters, cracking his knuckles and stretching out his back before hunching over his work once more. He pauses once he hears a knock at the door, sighing once more. “…Ah, that’s right.” He raises his voice. “Door’s unlocked, c’mon in.”

Time slowly slides inside moments later, letting the door creep shut behind him. The boy glances around at the array of equipment set up around Lusa’s workspace before finally settling his gaze on the man himself. “…You said you wanted to see me?”

“Yeah, I did. C’mere.” He beckons the other over. Time gives him an odd look, but complies, making his way over. “…How y’ been doin’, kid?” He turns back to his armour, working as he talks. “…An’ hand me that piece o’er there, would ya?”  


“…What do you mean by that?” Time asks him, handing him the piece he’d asked for.   


“Pretty sure y’ know exactly what I mean.” Lusa mutters, glancing up at him now. He points at Time’s eye, the one kept hidden behind an eyepatch. “That right there. How bad is it?”  


“…I don’t know what you’re–”  


“I ain’t an idiot, kid.” An irritated look crosses his face. “Who th’ fuck d’ya think I deal with all’a time? I know damn well what y’ got hidden under there, now I’m askin’ ya how _bad_ it is.”  


Time pointedly looks away from him, falling into a brooding silence. Lusa sighs, turning himself back to his work as he waits for the boy to answer him. “It’s… manageable.” Time finally admits, voice quiet. “I’m not… I’m not that bad yet.”

“Yet.” Lusa repeats. “…But y’r gonna be?”  


“That’s…” Another short silence settles over them, and this time it’s a long while before Time speaks up again. “…No. I won’t let it go that far.”  


“…Y’ won’t, huh?” He turns to look at Time once more, obviously unimpressed. “…Have y’ even told th’ other two about y’r eye yet?” Time slowly shakes his head. “…Y’r jus’ tryin’ t’ fix everythin’ y’rself?” He stands up now, heavily placing one hand on Time’s shoulder. “…Look, kid.” He takes in a deep breath, lets it out slowly.  


“…Y’ can’t _do_ that. Y’ can’t just shut everyone else out and decide y’r gonna fix everything all by y’rself.” Time opens his mouth to speak, only to immediately shut it once more after receiving a clear warning glare. “ _Don’t_ argue with me. Look, just… Don’t push y’rself too hard, a’ight? Let th’ other two know; they’ll help ya. Keep tryin’ t’ do everythin’ alone all th’ time an’ ya really are gonna end up like Esper.” Time visibly flinches at the mention of the name. “…I know ya don’t want that.”  


He gives Time’s shoulder a gentle squeeze, finally letting go and sitting back down. “…That’s all I wanted.” he mumbles, waving a dismissive hand. “And… Time? If ya need anythin’… I’m here.”

“…Yeah. Thanks, Lusa.” Time slowly shuffles out the door moments later, slamming the door shut behind him. Lusa can only hope that at least _some_ of what he said had gotten through to the boy.  



	32. Cat Ears: Esper

“What… _are_ these..?” Esper squints at his own reflection in the bathroom mirror, staring at the two pointed, furry ears now poking out from within the mess that was his hair. He reaches up to touch one of them, vaguely surprised when he can actually _feel_ the sensation. “…They’re part of me, then..?” He touches the other one now, noting just how _soft_ they both were.  


“Hey Esper, are y–” He whirls around once he hears Lusa’s voice approaching, only to realise that the man was already standing in the doorway. Lusa’s gaze was fixated on the top of Esper’s head, and he wasn’t sure he particularly liked the _look_ he was getting. “Esper… Are those… Are those _cat_ ears?” Lusa takes a step closer, and he hurriedly takes a step back in response. “…How did y’ end up with..?”  


“I don’t know.” he answers. “I just looked in the mirror and there they were.”  


“…Ya’ve got a tail too, y’know.”  


“…I do?” A quick look behind him told him it was true, a fluffy white tail mixed in with his usual three. His ears pull back in annoyance, and he’s once again mildly surprised to find that he actually has control over them.  


“…Huh, y’ c’n move ‘em, too.” Lusa grins. “…They’re kinda cute.”  


“I– What..?” He blinks, can feel his face heat up ever-so-slightly as he processes that. “I’m not–”  


“Th’ ears n’ tail, I mean.” Lusa moves closer, reaches out to touch his ears. “They suit ya.” He freezes once Lusa starts playing with them, slowly relaxing when he realises it actually feels… _really_ nice. He closes his eyes in contentment, tail slowly swaying back and forth. He’s not quite sure what the strange sound he’s hearing is, or where it’s coming from, but he can’t bring himself to care right now, only urges Lusa to continue.  


“Esper… are y’ _purring?”_ Lusa laughs, continues petting him. “Ain’t that cute. …Should prob’ly get this fixed for ya, but… Won’t hurt t’ keep ya like this for a little while, right..?”  



	33. It's all fun and games until...

“Lusa! Lusa!” He barely has time to look up before Esper barges into his room, holding something triumphantly above his head. He can’t quite make out what the item is, what with how excitedly Esper is waving it around, though it looks to be some form of clothing. He sighs, standing up and giving the other his attention (because simply _ignoring_ Esper was never an option).  


“...What is that?” If the grin on Esper’s face is anything to go by, it’s nothing good.  


“Look!” Esper finally calms down enough to properly display the object. “I took Mastermind’s coat!”

“I-- You-- Ya did _what?!”_ He can feel panic (maybe even _terror_ ) rise up within him as he realises that, yes, that actually _was_ Mastermind’s jacket. “H-How did y’... _Why_ would ya... Esper y’ can’t jus’ _take_ that!” He moves to snatch the coat from the other, only for Esper to quickly dart away from him.  


“Awwww, Lusa. Why not?” The man sticks his lower lip out as if he were pouting. “Mastermind’s out, it’s not like he’ll notice.”  


“...He’s out..? An’ he left wi’out his jacket?”  


“Yup! Which means...” Esper pulls the jacket on now, much to Lusa’s dismay. “Mmmm, this is warm. Cozy.”   


“Esper, I _really_ don’ think ya should--” He cuts himself off, inadvertently taking a step back when Esper fixes him with a steady _glare_ (and had he said something he shouldn’t have? he didn’t think he’d done anything to make the other _angry_ ). He takes another step back when Esper starts moving towards him, all poise and malice.

“...And what makes you think that _you_ have the right to tell _me_ what I can and cannot do?” Esper calls forth his dynamos, all six of them pointing straight at Lusa. “You think you can stand up to _me?_ Looks like someone needs to learn their _place_.”   


“H-Hey wait, I--” He starts to panic as the weapons begin to glow, holding both hands out in front of himself.   


“...Heh.” An impish grin slowly spreads across Esper’s face, and he calls his dynamos back to his side moments later. “Hahaha..! You looked so terrified!” The man continues laughing, clutching at his sides. “Hahaha! How’d you like my Mastermind impression?”  


“I-- Ya were jus’..?” He can feel his face turning red with embarrassment as it sinks in (and how hadn’t he caught onto that earlier?). “I-I was jus’... playin’ along...” He manages a laugh himself now. “Though... Hah, that _was_ a pretty good impression a’ him.” He reaches towards Esper, tugging at the sleeve of the jacket. “Hey. Lemme see that f’r a sec.”  


Esper shrugs the coat off, handing it over moments later. He’s vaguely surprised to find that the jacket _is_ rather comfortable, briefly wondering what exactly it’s made out of. “Y’know... Somethin’ I’ve always wondered...” He reaches back behind his neck, tugging the hood up and over his own head. “...Look’it th’ cute lil’ cat ears he’s got on this thing.”

“I’ve never seen him wear the hood.” Esper comments, reaching up to touch the ears. “...Think he ever does?”  


“...Prob’ly. Only when no one’s lookin’.” He grins, bringing both hands up to his face and using them to imitate a pair of paws. “ _Nya~!_ I’m Mastermind and I love cute kitties!”

Esper starts laughing again, pausing to wipe a few tears from his eyes before adding his own comment. “ _Meowstermind._  We should start calling him Meowstermind.”

“Tha’s _perfect._ We oughta--” A cough can be heard from the doorway, and the both of them freeze. Neither of them are near the door, and if it’s not either of them, then it has to be...  


“...You two certainly seem entertained.” Mastermind himself stands in the doorway, looking _anything_ but happy.  


“I-I uh-- H-How long have you..?”  


“Long enough.” Before either of them can blink, an array of dynamos are pointed at them, already glowing with energy. Apocalypse stands at the ready beside Mastermind, and Lusa can only pray that the punishment isn’t _too_ severe. “I know you two were just having fun, but... It’s _my_ turn to play now.”  


“...Ah, _fuck_.”  



	34. College AU: Teasing

It’s late by the time Lusa finally gets back to the dorms, later than he’s ever been out before. He’s tired, _exhausted,_ and only just remembers to be quiet when pulling open the door to the room he shared with Esper. The dorm is too dark to properly see in, and he finds himself tripping over various objects as he carefully attempts to make it to his bed. **(** _I’m gonna **kill** Esper later if he doesn’t get all’a his shit off th’ damn floor._ **)**  He briefly contemplates changing before passing out, decides against it, simply pulls his shirt off over his head and collapses onto his bed, falling asleep the instant his head hits his pillow.  


It isn’t until the next morning that he realises it wasn’t _his_ bed.

He yawns loudly as he attempts to wake himself up, blinking blearily and stretching his arms out. “Good morning, sunshine.” He pauses, wondering why Esper’s voice seemed to be coming from right next to him. A quick glance to the side told him it was because Esper actually _was_ right next to him, and cheerfully waving, at that.

“Wh--” He hurriedly sits upright. “Esper, what th’ _hell_ are ya doin’ in my bed?!”

“Hm?” Esper tilts his head to the side, confusion etched on his face. “I’m not, though. You’re the one in _my_ bed, Lusa.”  


“...What? I ain’t...” His voice trails off once he takes the time to look around, slowly realising that he actually _was_ in Esper’s bed. “Uh... Wh-- What... _Why_ am I..?” **(** _Oh, god. What happened last night?_ **)**  


Esper shrugs. “You came home pretty late. Made a huge racket tripping over everything. Next thing I know you nearly fall on top of me.” A frown. “Could have crushed me, you brute.”

“I-I uh... S-Sorry, I...”   


“Hmmm, you know, Lusa...” Esper interrupts him, and he can already tell he doesn’t want to hear whatever the other is about to say. Esper has that _look_ on his face, that look that immediately alerts Lusa that he’s up to something. “If you wanted to sleep with me, you could have just asked. Not exactly “romantic” if you just fall over and go to sleep right off.”   


He can feel his face heating up, and hurriedly shakes his head. “Sh-Shut th’ fuck up, Esper, y’ _know_ it was a fuckin’ accident..!”

“Hey, it’s fine, Lusa.” That impish smile is still firmly fixed on Esper’s face. “You’re shy, you don’t wanna talk about it, I get it.” Esper leans closer to him, uncomfortably close, and if his face wasn’t red before, it _definitely_ was now. **(** _What th’ hell is he doin’?! He’s not--_ **)** “We don’t have to go through all the mushy talk. What’s the saying..? Oh, yeah. Actions speak louder than words, right..?” Esper leans even closer, their faces so close they’re almost touching, so close that he can feel Esper’s breath against his skin. **(** _Fuck. Fuck he’s actually, he’s--?!_ **)**  


He panics, finally springing out of bed and immediately tripping over all the clutter on the floor, falling heavily onto his back amidst the mess. He can hear Esper cackling, and by the time he finally manages to pick himself back up the boy has laughed himself to tears. “You should have seen your _face,_ Lusa! I don’t think I’ve _ever_ seen you so red!” Esper breaks off into another fit of laughter, barely able to speak without interrupting himself. “You thought-- You thought I was actually gonna--” 

It slowly sinks in that Esper was simply _toying_ with him, and his previous embarrassment shifts to irritation, _anger. “Esper._ ” A growl leaves his throat. “That wasn’t fuckin’ funny, Esper.”

“It wasn’t funny at all, you’re right. I’m sorry.” He’s shocked into silence when Esper _agrees_ with him. “What I mean is, “funny” doesn’t cover it. That was _hilarious.”_ And the laughter begins anew.  


"I swear t’--” He curls his hand into a fist, attempting to take a step towards Esper before losing his balance in the mess once more. He quickly steps back, only just managing not to fall over a second time. It’s not worth taking anything out on Esper right now, he decides, not when every move he tries to make ends badly for him.  **(** _Tha’s fine, though. I’ll remember this._ **)** “...I’ve got class today. I’ll see ya later, Esper.”

“What, that’s it? No goodbye kiss?”  


“ _Esper.”_  


“Sorry, sorry..! I’ll cut it out, promise!” Esper places a hand over his heart, as if swearing to it. “Have fun in class.” Esper gives him one of his usual childlike waves as he pulls on a clean shirt and grabs his bag, double checking to make sure he has everything. It’s not until he’s right in front of the door that Esper decides to speak up again. “Oh, and... Lusa?”  


He rolls his eyes, glancing back over at his roommate, unable to quite hide his surprise once he gets a look at Esper’s expression.  **(** _...Is it jus’ me, or does he look... **serious** f’r once?_ **)**

“Mmmm. You’re cute when you’re sleeping, Lusa.” A smile, one that seems almost genuine (and was it?).  


“I--” Another blush tints his cheeks, and he hurriedly pulls the door open and steps into the hall. “Fuck off already, Esper.” He slams the door shut behind him, taking a few moments to calm himself down before slowly heading to class.  


It’s Esper he ends up thinking about all day, wondering just how much of what he’d said was pure teasing and how much of it actually meant anything.


	35. Flower Crowns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based off of [this photoset](http://dezimaton.tumblr.com/post/117453795695/lpde-spring-flower-crowns-if-you-flick-between#)!

It feels nice, Lusa thinks, lying out in the grass like this, the sunlight pleasantly warm against his skin. It’s just the right temperature out, just the right amount of breeze in the air, just enough background noise to be peaceful rather than annoying. He might even call today “perfect”.  


“...Lusa..?” A shadow falls over him, and he slowly cracks one eye open to look up at the perpetrator. Esper’s curious face looks back down at him, head tilting to the side the way it always did when the boy was confused.  


“Esper.” He slowly sits up, patting the ground next to himself. “What’re ya doin’ out here?”  


Esper quietly sits down beside him, starting to pick at the grass beneath himself. He holds a single piece between his fingers, slowly tearing it into strands as he talks. “...I was looking for you. Why are you here?” He gestures at the meadow around them before ripping up another blade of grass.

“No real reason.” A shrug. He watches his companion for a few moments before carefully plucking one of the flowers growing near them, plucking a second one and slowly starting to braid them together. “Nice t’ jus’ get out an’ lounge around every once n’ a while, y’know?”  


“...Is it?” Esper makes an inquisitive humming noise, though he seems too engrossed in destroying innocent strands of grass to bother looking up. “...I don’t like being outside much. Too bright. ...Hurts my eyes.”  


Lusa laughs, plucking another flower and adding it onto the chain he’s started. “Maybe if ya didn’t coop y’rself up inside all’a time it wouldn’t be s’ bad.” He keeps meticulously adding flowers as he talks. “...I’ll take ya out at night sometime. Ya’d prob’ly like that better. Not s’ bright... An’ th’ stars are nice t’ look at.”

“Maybe.” Esper mumbles. “I think I’d rather just stay inside.”  


“Aww, it ain’t s’ bad out here.” He adds one final flower onto his chain before carefully attaching it to the first, creating a circle. “Here.” He moves closer to Esper, carefully placing the crown of flowers atop the boy’s head.  


Esper jumps slightly in response, eyes growing wide as he reaches up to feel the top of his head. “What did you just..?” 

“It’s a flower crown.” Lusa explains, grinning. “Looks cute on ya.”  


“Huh..? Wh-What are you...” He almost laughs when Esper’s face turns a bright red, reaching out to stop the other when Esper attempts to pull the crown off his head. “Don’t make fun of me..!”  


“I’m not! Promise!” Esper gives him a wary look, as if trying to determine if he were lying or not. “...It really does look cute on ya, y’know.”  


Esper averts his eyes, face growing redder. He plucks a flower himself now, twirling it between his fingers for several long moments. “...Hey. Lusa.”

“Hmm?”  


“...Show me how to do that.”  


“Huh..? What, th’ flower crown?”  


Esper nods. “...Yeah. I... want to make one.”

He blinks, unable to hide his surprise. “Huh. ...A’ight, here, lemme show ya.” He moves even closer to Esper, picking two flowers and holding them where the other boy could see them. “Y’ jus’ kinda... Braid ‘em t’gether like this.” Esper watches his every move intently, nodding several times as Lusa explains each step.

“Like... this..?” Esper mimics his movements.  


“Yeah, tha’s it.” He grins again. “...Y’r pretty good at this already. Jus’ keep addin’ more t’ it. Once it’s long enough ya jus’ braid th’ end t’ th’ beginnin’.” Esper only nods, quietly working on his own flower crown. It doesn’t take him long to finish, and while it’s not quite as pretty as Lusa’s, it’s impressive for a first try.  


“...Here.” Esper carefully places it atop his head, a slight smile on his face. “...Now we match.”  


A light blush dusts his features as he nods in response. “I, uh... Yeah, we do.” He smiles now, further matching his companion. “...Thanks, Esper.”

“Mm.” Esper nods, yawning shortly after. “...I’m tired, Lusa.”  


“Yeah?” He yawns himself now, mentally blaming Esper for it. “I could go f’r a nap m’self.” He lets himself fall backwards, stretching out in the grass. “Feels nice out. Jus’ warm enough.” Esper lays down beside him a moment later, curling up against his side and laying his head down atop his chest. “...Y’ gonna go t’ sleep?” He only receives a tired nod in response, Esper’s eyes already falling closed. “Heh. A’ight.” He wraps one arm around Esper, presses a quick kiss against the top of his head. “Sleep well.” He lets his own eyes close soon after, both of them drifting off to peaceful dreams.


	36. Regret

He almost doesn’t notice the first time it happens, far too excited about the fact that his formula had _worked_ to bother paying attention to anything else. It had _worked,_ he’d _succeeded,_ and he was finally, _finally_ starting to piece together how to bend time itself to his will. He doesn’t think he’s ever been this excited, _ecstatic,_ even. It isn’t until he feels a dull pain in his eye that he realises something is off, something is _wrong._

Time reaches one hand up to gingerly touch his eyepatch, inhaling sharply once he realises his eyepatch is _damp_. He quickly pulls his hand back, expecting to see the vibrant red of _blood_ staining his hand. He doesn’t think anything could have really prepared him for _this_.

Black. The oily mess dripping through his fingers is pitch _black._ He can only stare at his hand in a sort of fascinated horror, too afraid to take a look beneath his eyepatch at what was happening. (and was this an effect of time travel? was this something that was supposed to happen? was it normal? he didn’t think it could be. it reminded him too much of…) 

He pushes the thoughts to the back of his mind, ripping off his eyepatch and rushing to the bathroom. He continues to stare down at his hands as he washes them off, his mind disturbingly blank as he watches the dark fluid swirl down the drain. It takes him several moments to prepare himself before he finally looks at his own reflection in the mirror, hesitant and afraid. A sharp intake of air, and it takes a monumental effort not to cry out in horror. (because this isn’t right. this isn’t right this isn’t right this isn’t right.)

The eye looking back at him isn’t his. A vivid ring of purple, bright, _toxic_ purple, stares back at him from within a pool of abyssal  _black._ It’s not his eye. It’s not his eye, it’s someone, some _thing_ else’s. (and he’s scared. he’s so _so_ scared of what that means)

He hurriedly covers it once more with a clean eyepatch, storming off and doing anything he could to clear his mind, to forget the matter entirely. Research. His research distracts him, keeps him occupied; and that’s exactly what he does, poring over his findings and further developing his formula. Eventually he forgets, locking the memory away, ignoring the whispers in his mind that he should stop, that he shouldn’t let this continue. (because he refuses to think about it, _can’t_ let himself think about it. and if he just ignores it, maybe he’ll forget, maybe it will stop)

It isn’t until weeks later, when that viscous black starts seeping out of his eye ( _pouring_ out of it, like some horrific version of tears) that he realises he’d made a mistake. (too much. he’d pushed his limits too much, too far) It isn’t until his eye (no, _not_ his eye, that eye _wasn’t_ his) remains that disturbing colour, until the black just won’t _stop_ dripping out of him… (and the other one too, even his other eye had started now)

It’s only then that he realises there’s a reason _why_ time travel was never practised. (not because it wasn’t possible, that was never the case, he just hadn’t _realised._ not because it wasn’t possible, but because of the _cost,_ because of what it _did_ ) And it’s only then that he realises he’s already lost.


	37. Stress Relief

Everyone has their own guilty pleasures in life. For some people it’s a simple as eating an entire carton of ice cream by themselves. Others prefer to spend more money, collecting various items or splurging on something huge. Some even choose to indulge in more...  _risqué_ pleasures. But him... he liked to think he was one of the simpler people to please.  


“Apocalypse.” Mastermind calls out the name of his beloved pet (if you could really call the purple, cat-like cube of mass destruction a “pet”). “Initiate start-up sequence.” He watches as the drone boots itself up, nodding to himself when everything seems to be functioning correctly. He’d just spent the last several hours adding adjustments to the weapon, optimising functions here, adding a few new lasers there, among several other new features he’d decided to incorporate.

Apocalypse floats beside him once it finishes rebooting itself, silently waiting for commands. “Run a scan on yourself. Make sure everything is functioning at optimal levels.” He crosses his arms as he waits for Apocalypse to finish, nodding once more when the cube reports that everything seems to be in perfect working order. “Run a weapons test.”

He pulls up a command console, generating three stationary targets on the far side of his lab. “Shockwave.” He orders, watching as Apocalypse fires a replication of his own Panzer Buster at the first target, completely incinerating it. “Good. Neutron Bomb.” A small cube is sent out next, pulling the target towards itself before exploding. “Good. Plasma Missile.” A final success, four miniature missiles detonating on the last target.

“Perfect.” A grin. “Everything seems to be in working order, then.” He dismisses the console and starts to make his way back over to his workspace, Apocalypse slowly trailing after him. “That’s _one_ upgrade finished.” He powers off his dynamos now, setting them down on the table in front of himself before taking a seat. “Now for the next part.” A sigh, and he cracks his knuckles before starting the arduous task of further improving his weaponry.  


It’s a slow process, and he only grows increasingly frustrated with every error. A heavy sigh leaves him, and he slowly swivels around in his chair, eyes falling on Apocalypse. “...Ah. There was one function I didn’t have you test... wasn’t there?” The cube doesn’t answer him, of course (unless you wanted to count the artificial “meow”), and he slowly stands to regard it. “...Apocalypse. Music.”

The cube responds immediately, morphing its ears into miniature speakers before blasting the music it had been programmed with.

♫ _I’m doin’ this tonight_  
_You’re probably gonna start a fight_  
_I know this can’t be right_  
_Hey, baby come on_   ♫ 

He grins to himself, turning back to his dynamos and resuming his work as he sways to the beat of the music (and he’s suddenly extremely grateful that his laboratory is soundproof, because he shudders to think of Lusa or Esper finding out about this). 

♫ _Bye Bye_  
_Don’t wanna be a fool for you_  
_Just another player in your game for two_  
_You may hate me but it ain’t no lie_  
_Baby bye, bye, bye_   ♫ 

It isn’t long before he’s lip-synching along to the song, his dynamos all but forgotten as he dances through his lab, Apocalypse trailing after him all the while. It’s a waste of his time, he knows, singing and dancing along to some ridiculous boy-band... But even _he_ needed a break every now and then.

Everyone has their own guilty pleasures, right?


	38. Cat Ears: Mastermind

To say he was nervous would be an understatement. Arc felt like he might just up and pass out at a moment’s notice, because this... _This_ wasn’t something that _ever_ happened. Mastermind had actually gone out of his way to contact him, had actually _asked_ him if he’d like to come visit (and of _course_ he would, he was _constantly_ looking for excuses to stop by Mastermind’s lab, always hoping that the genius might show him something new, that he might get to spend time with him. but this was the first time Mastermind had _asked_ him to come).  


He’s almost too nervous to knock on the laboratory door, finally taking a deep breath and managing a single, timid knock. “...It’s unlocked. Come in.” Arc does as he’s instructed, slowly pushing the door open and even more slowly stepping inside. He quietly closes the door behind himself, eyes scanning the room in search of Mastermind. 

“U-Um... You said you wanted to see me about something..?” He almost cringes at how nervous his voice sounds. He visits Mastermind all the time, why is it so terrifying this time around? (because this time Mastermind _wanted_ to see him, and for some reason that sent his heart racing).  


“That’s right.” Mastermind steps forward now, and Arc is vaguely surprised to see that the man is wearing his hood up for once (and has he ever done that before?). “...Not a word of what you’re about to see is to _ever_ leave this lab. Do I make myself clear?”  


“Y-Yes sir.”  


“...For your sake, I hope you mean that.” Mastermind sighs, reaching both his hands up and slowly taking off his hood. “I had a bit of a mishap earlier... As I’m sure you can see.”  


“I--” Arc can only stare at his older self for several long moments, eyes glued to the top of Mastermind’s head. “U-Um... Are those, uh..?” What appears to be two large, fuzzy ears are sticking out of the top of Mastermind’s head, both of them pulled back slightly in what was probably irritation.  


“...They’re cat ears.” Mastermind mumbles, groaning. “I managed to give myself a tail as well, it’s not been a pleasant afternoon.”  


“O-Oh. How did you..?” It takes all Arc has not to laugh at this development, because Mastermind’s ears were... _adorable_. “Cute” wasn’t exactly a word he would _ever_ use to describe Mastermind, but right now... (and a voice in the back of his mind wondered just how much trouble he’d get in if he asked to touch those ears, because _oh_ did he want to).  


“It’s a long story.” Mastermind averts his eyes, obviously not wanting to divulge details. “Let’s just say biological manipulation is not my strong point.” A frown, and his ears pull back further (and Arc once again finds himself thinking that’s _absolutely_ adorable). “...Anyways, I called you here to help me get rid of them.”  


“G-Get rid of them?!” He claps a hand over his mouth the instant the words escape, cringing at the _look_ Mastermind is giving him.  


“ _Yes.”_ And that glare doesn’t look like it’s leaving anytime soon. “I can’t be _stuck_ with these. I shudder to think what the other two would do were they to find out.” He was, of course, referring to Lusa and Esper, who Arc _knew_ would never let him live this down. “Here.” Mastermind pulls up a data console, glancing at the screen for a moment before settling his gaze on Arc once more. “...I’ve sent you the data I was compiling previously. With both of us sorting through this we should be able to find some way to reverse it.”  


He nods in response. “Okay, I’ll start looking.” He pulls up his own console now, browsing through the files he’d been sent. He can’t quite keep himself from glancing up at Mastermind every so often, staring at the man’s ears and trying his hardest not to say anything about them, not to ask if he could touch them. Maybe... if he was careful enough... “...Hey, Mastermind?”

“Hmm?” A quick glance in his direction.  


“Why’d you ask _me_ for help?”   


“...It’s faster than trying to figure this out alone.” Mastermind mumbles in response, attention returning to his console. “Time is of the essence.” A short pause. “...Of the available options, you’re the best suited to this. I couldn’t go to Lusa or Esper, and the other two Tracers...” Mastermind makes a brief humming sound. “You’re the only one I tolerate.”  


Arc’s eyes widen, because that’s the closest he’s ever heard Mastermind come to saying he actually _liked_ someone. “I-I... Oh.” Another silence falls over them. His face is red right now, he knows (because hearing his _idol_ , his _inspiration_ , (maybe even his _crush_ ) practicallysay that he actually _liked_ him was...). “H-Hey, Mastermind..?”

A sigh. “...Yes, Arc.”

“Your ears. Are they soft?”  


“...Why is that something you need to know?”  


“I-I don’t, I was just...” He cringes again (and that was such a stupid thing to ask why did he do that?)  


Mastermind is properly looking at him now, an unreadable expression on his face. “...Do you want to find out?”

He freezes, not sure how he should answer that question (was he offering to let him touch them? was this some kind of trap?). “...Yes..?”

“Hmm.” Mastermind’s gaze returns to his data once more. “...Go ahead.”  


He almost doesn’t believe his ears, had Mastermind seriously just..? He looks over at the other, but Mastermind isn’t looking at him anymore, isn’t saying anything further. So it was okay, then? He could just..? 

He slowly moves closer, tentatively reaching one hand out once he’s beside Mastermind. He’s amazed at just how _soft_ the ears are, reaching his other hand out to touch the second ear now. Mastermind, for his part, closes his eyes as Arc gently rubs his ears (and was that a look of contentment? was Mastermind actually _enjoying_ this? he can’t remember ever seeing the man this relaxed before. it was... almost endearing).

He reluctantly pulls away before long, deciding it’s best not to push his luck. “...Thank you.” he mumbles, hurrying to put a fair bit of distance between them again.

“Mmm.” He still can’t quite read the expression on Mastermind’s face, wonders if that should worry him or not. “Ah... Arc?”  


“Yes?”  


“...If I ever find out that you’ve mentioned this to anyone... _Anyone_ at all.” If looks could kill, the one he was receiving right now could slay a small nation. “I _will_ kill you.”  


“I-I won’t..! Promise!” He starts rapidly looking through data once more, praying that he finds some sort of solution to Mastermind’s problem soon (because staying on his good side was suddenly _so_ important to his survival). But still... even with the threats afterwards, Mastermind _had_ actually allowed him to touch them in the first place. He can feel his face growing red again.  


**(** _That... That means he likes me... right?_ **)**


	39. Video games

“Lusa. Lusa.” Esper pokes Lusa in the back of the head, giggling to himself. “Hey, Lusa. _Luuuuusa_. Lusa, hey, guess what? You _died_.” he finally finishes, laughter trailing after his words. He’s currently lounging on the couch, gleefully watching Lusa play video games (and rather badly, at that). The other man is seated on the floor directly in front of him, fist slamming angrily against the floor at his words (and that only makes him laugh harder).

“I _know,_ Esper.” Lusa grits his teeth together, growling as he stares at the “ **GAME OVER** ” screen for what was probably the fiftieth time today. “Y’ don’t have’ta point it out _every_ time it happens.” Another growl, and Lusa starts the game over again, grumbling to himself all the while.  


“Someone has to make commentary on how terrible you are.” he hums in response, grinning as he watches the multitude of mistakes Lusa is already making. “Hey Lusa, you missed an item back there.”  


“Esper…”  


“Lusa, that was an absolutely horrible combo.”  


“ _Esper.”_  


 _“_ Lusa, you’re _really_ awful at this–”  


“ _ **Esper!** ” _Another string of laughter as Lusa’s anger gets the best of him, yet again leading to a bright red ending screen as his character dies a miserable death. The Psyker throws his controller down now, the object hitting the floor so hard that it bounces up onto the couch beside Esper. “ _Look,_ Esper.” There’s a dangerous edge to Lusa’s voice now, past the point of mere irritation. “If y’ wanna sit here n’ watch, then _shut th’ fuck up_. Y’ ain’t helpin’.”  


He finally does quiet down now, silently handing Lusa his controller back and refraining from his usual commentary as the game is started over once more. He rolls his eyes as Lusa continues to perform terribly anyways, quietly snickering to himself with every mistake the other makes. 

With his commentary now banned, his interest drops quickly, soon growing bored with watching Lusa fail repeatedly. “…Lusa. I’m bored.” A pause, followed by an irritated sigh when Lusa doesn’t respond to him. “Hey. Lusa. Pay attention to me.”

“ _Fuck off_ , Esper.” Lusa doesn’t bother looking up at him, single-mindedly staring at the screen. “I’m busy.”  


Esper’s eyes narrow in response, one hand reaching towards Lusa before he’s really sure what he’s doing. He finds his hand buried in Lusa’s hair a moment later, vaguely surprised with himself (and had he really meant to do that? he’d been reaching for the controller, he’d thought).

“Esper, th’ _hell_ are ya–”  


“Keep playing.” Esper mumbles, placing his other hand atop Lusa’s head now (it’s soft. Lusa’s hair is so soft). Lusa makes a noise of confusion, but does as Esper suggests, restarting his game _yet_ again (and by this time the both of them had lost track of just how many times he’d died). “…Your hair feels nice, Lusa.” he comments, slowly running his fingers through the other’s hair.  


“Uh…” Lusa’s attention isn’t really on the game any longer, and he eventually sets the controller down, turning slightly so he can look up at Esper. “…Thanks? What exactly are ya doin’, Esper..?”  


“Playing with your hair.” He hums happily to himself. “I like it. …It’s softer than Mastermind’s.”  


Lusa blinks. “I– How th’ _hell_ would y’ know tha–” He cuts himself off. “Don’t answer that, I don’t wanna know.” Lusa quietly picks up the controller again, slowly powering the game console down.

“…You’re done playing?” Esper pulls his hands back, freezing when Lusa protests that motion.  


“’Ey. Keep doin’ that. …Feels kinda nice.” He slowly returns to petting Lusa’s hair, mildly surprised that the Psyker seems to be _enjoying_ it (a cat. it makes him think of petting a cat. it’s cute. Lusa is cute.). There’s a long silence, and he almost thinks Lusa must have fallen asleep on him before the man finally speaks up once more. “…Sorry f’r gettin’ so mad at ya, Esper.”  


“Hmm. You’ll make it up to me later, right?”  


“…Sure. Whatever ya want.”  


“You better mean that.” He laughs to himself once more. “Oh, and Lusa..?”  


“Yeah?”  


“You’re _really_ awful at that game.”  


“…Fuck off, Esper.”  



	40. Kittens

Lusa stumbles out of his room, still in the process of waking himself up. He rubs at his eyes, yawning loudly and sticking one hand under his shirt to scratch at his stomach. “Mornin’.” he mumbles as he steps into the living room. A pause. “…Huh..? What’re all ya doin’ here so early..?” He blinks several times, noting that all three of the Tracers were seated on the floor. Esper was seated several feet away from them, which only confuses him further.

“Lusa! Lusa, look!” Psych jumps up, excitedly shoving something in his face before he really has a chance to grasp what’s happening.  


“’Ey, what are ya– …Huh?” He slowly reaches out to take the thing, no, the _creature,_ that Psych is offering him. “Is this… a kitten..?” He blinks, carefully holding the animal and tentatively petting the top of its head.  


“Yeah! There’s a whole bunch of them!” Psych gestures at the other two Tracers, who are each absorbed in playing with the small pile of kittens on the floor. “Aren’t they cute?”  


“Uh… yeah, they… they’re cute.” Lusa mumbles. The kitten he’s holding lets out the tiniest of meows, and he _swears_ he can feel his heart melting. “U-Uh…” He glances around quickly, relieved when he realises that no one really seems to be paying attention to him. “So… where’d these come from..?”  


“…Esper had them.” Arc answers, gesturing at the man in question. “They were all over him earlier.”  


“… _Esper?”_ Arc only shrugs in response, looking just as confused as Lusa felt. He looks back down at the kitten in his arms, glances at Esper sitting by himself, then back down at the kitten. He walks past the Tracers, carefully stepping over the kitten pile, and then flops himself down next to Esper.  


“…So where’d ya get all these?”   


Esper blinks, noticeably surprised that Lusa approached him. “…I found them.” Esper mumbles. “…They were outside in the cold. Their mother was… dead.” Lusa’s eyes widen at that, realisation dawning on him. He wordlessly hands his kitten to Esper, watching as the other carefully takes it and gently clutches the tiny creature to his chest.

“…They’ll be a’ight.” He places one hand on Esper’s head, running his fingers through soft strands. “You can be their mom, right? Look after the little guys.”  


“…I don’t think I’d be very good at that.”  


“Nah. You’ll do jus’ fine.” Esper only nods in response, leaning against Lusa and petting his kitten, who is contentedly purring. “…See? ‘E already likes ya.” 

He’s not quite sure if it’s just his eyes playing tricks on him or not, but he could almost swear that Esper _genuinely_ smiled for the briefest of moments. It’s gone as just as soon as it appeared, Esper’s face a blank mask as he focuses on his kitten. “…Thanks, Lusa.  



	41. Kittens: Part 2

Lusa was already used to Esper simply making himself at home in his room, constantly pestering him for attention or (sometimes, if he was lucky) quietly observing him. Even if he was out for the day, it wasn’t at all uncommon for him to come home and find Esper going through his things, complaining about how he’d been gone _far_ too long. So while it wasn’t exactly unusual for him to walk in to the sight of Esper fast asleep atop his bed like he had today… _This_ wasn’t exactly something he’d been prepared for.  


“…Am I seein’ things..?” Lusa rubs at his eyes, blinking several times before deciding that, yes, he _was_ seeing this correctly. Esper was curled up on his bed, fast asleep, and, for some reason, was absolutely _covered_ in small, fluffy kittens. It was… oddly adorable.

He shakes his head, deciding that now probably isn’t the time to be thinking about how cute his alternate was. “Esper.” He sighs, reaching out to shake the other man awake and disturbing several kittens in the process. “Yo, Esper. Wake up.”  


Esper yawns, frowning slightly as he sits up (and causing several of the small creatures to fall off of him). “…I’m awake.” Another yawn. “…Maybe.” Esper rubs at his eyes, blinking tiredly before finally looking up at him. “You’re home early, Lusa.” Esper scoops up one of the kittens as he speaks, absently stroking its fur.

“Esper, _please_ tell me these aren’t th’ cats ya promised t’ leave w’ the Tracers. Tell me ya didn’t go steal ‘em back from th’ poor kids.” It had been decided previously (much to Esper’s displeasure) that it was only fair if the Tracers had some time with the kittens (because all three of them loved the tiny creatures, and Esper was _not_ one for sharing).  


“…I didn’t _steal_ them.” Esper mumbles, staring down at the kitten in his hands.  


He crosses his arms. “Then why’re they _here_?”  


“They’re _mine.”_ Esper clarifies, nodding once as if that justified everything. “They’re mine, I didn’t steal them. …They missed me.” Several of the kittens begin meowing as they climb all over their owner, as if agreeing with that statement.  


“…Esper, y’ can’t jus’…” Lusa sighs, covering his face with one hand. “Great. I’d jus’ get th’ kids their own damn cats but ya’d steal _those_ too, I bet.” Esper makes a humming noise in response to that accusation, causing Lusa to sigh once more. He sits down beside Esper, a few of the kittens curiously crawling towards him now. “…At least apologise t’ th’ kids later.”  


“No.” Esper sets his kitten down and leans against him, head resting on his shoulder. “They’re mine. You said _I_ should take care of them. Not someone else.”  


“…I did, didn’t I?” He carefully picks one of the kittens up, only for Esper to take the animal from him and set it back down. “…What, ya ain’t even gonna let _me…”_ His voice trails off when Esper grabs his hand instead (and he knows Esper well enough by now to know what that signified: “ _Pay attention to **me,** not the cats.”_).

“ _I’m_ supposed to take care of them.” Esper repeats, yawning again. “And you’re…” Another yawn. “You’re supposed to…”

“…Esper?” He doesn’t receive a response, and a quick glance at the other tells him that the man has already managed to fall back asleep. He sighs one last time, gently squeezing Esper’s hand.  


“…An’ I guess I’m th’ one s’pposed t’ take care a’ you, huh..?”  



	42. Thief

“Esper, what... What th’ _hell_ are ya doin’..?” Lusa stands in the doorway to his room, staring at his uninvited visitor. He’s walked in on Esper doing a lot of strange things (and always in _his_ room, why didn’t Esper ever take care of his weird urges in his own room?), from sleeping amongst a pile of kittens to rearranging all of his belongings. He liked to think he was used to Esper being weird, but somehow the man always managed to surprise him.  


“Oh. Lusa.” Esper offers him quick wave by way of greeting. “You’re back. ...Can you help me with this?”  


“...Can I help ya wi-- Esper _what_ are ya doin’?” He gestures at Esper now, who is currently wearing a pair of Lusa’s pants and... nothing else (and he’s grateful that Esper actually _is_ wearing pants). The other man is holding onto one of the belt loops to keep the pants up, the clothing obviously too big for him. “ _Why_ are ya wearin’ one a’ my spare outfits?”  


Esper simply shrugs in response. “...You said my outfit was weird. Yours isn’t, right?” Esper finally lets go of the belt loop to reach for the dresser (and he has to avert his eyes when those pants start to drop dangerously low), digging around in Lusa’s drawers for a moment before pulling out one of his shirts. Esper holds the clothing in front of him for a moment, as if he were inspecting it, before finally pulling it on over his head. “...Your clothes are a little big though.” he mumbles, holding up his arms to show that the sleeves were far too large for his tiny arms (the sight makes him feel strange; a weird feeling settles in his stomach).

“That’s ‘cause y’r  _tiny,_ Esper.” Lusa sighs, shakes his head. “Y’know _most_ people would jus’ go buy themselves a new outfit, not _steal_ one.” He finally steps into the room now, kicking the door shut behind him as he approaches Esper. “Hang on a minute, y’ look like a fuckin’ disaster right now.” He pulls open his closet door, grabbing one of his extra belts and handing it off to Esper. “Here. F’r fuck’s sake, please put that on.”

Esper fumbles with the belt for a few moments, trying to figure out how the chains worked and looking more than a little pleased with himself once he finally works it out. “...Your tails are weird.” Esper pulls a face. “Only two.”

“Ah, hush.” He grabs one of Esper’s arms, rolling up the sleeve before moving to do the same to the other one. “Now hold still f’r a sec.” He tucks the shirt in next, stepping back once he’s done to look the other over. It’s still obvious that the clothes don’t fit Esper well, but he looks at least a little better after Lusa’s help (it looks strangely cute on Esper, he realises).  


“Lusa, I’m still missing the vest...”  


“...D’ya have t’ have the...” Yet another sigh. “A’ight, hang on.” He shrugs his own vest off, prompting Esper to hold out his arms before helping him into it. “...Are ya happy now?”  


Esper looks himself over for several long moments, picking at the sleeves and fussing with his tails. “...I still need gloves and shoes and--”  


“ _No.”_ He rolls his eyes. “Look, I’ll take ya out later, we can get ya a proper outfit or somethin’. Jus’...” He moves over to his bed, heavily sitting down. “...Th’ hell’d ya decide ya wanted t’ wear _my_ clothes f’r?”

Esper slowly moves to sit beside him, looking thoughtful. “...’Cause they’re yours.” A grin. “I like them.” Esper tugs at his shirt, sniffing it. “...Smells good. Like you.”

He blinks in response, face tinted a light pink (and how was he supposed to respond to that?). “Uh...”

“You sure I can’t just keep wearing this?”  


“...We’re gettin’ ya y’r own clothes Esper, tha’s final.” He shakes his head. “Weird seein’ ya wearin’ my stuff...” he mumbles (weird, but not entirely unpleasant. still, he’s not sure how much of this he could take).

Esper leans against him now, still grinning (and that’s a dangerous grin, he knows). “Hey, Lusa..?”

A moment of hesitation. “...What?”

“You know, it’s not just the outer clothes I’m wearing...”  


“I--” He doesn’t need a mirror to know just how red his face is right now. He quickly grabs Esper’s arm, doing his best to ignore the laughter aimed at him. “That’s it, we’re gettin’ ya y’r own stuff right th’ fuck now.”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Dezimaton](http://dezimaton.tumblr.com/) drew some [absolutely adorable artwork](http://dezimaton.tumblr.com/post/118735078845/did-somebody-say-de-clothesstealing-source) to go along with this !


	43. Dangerous

It’s happening again. It’s happening again and that worries Esper, _scares_ him, a growing sense of _dread_ slowly starting to overtake him. He stares wide-eyed at Lusa’s form, the other’s body crackling with abundant electricity as he savagely, _mercilessly,_  tears into what few opponents are still alive. It’s only a matter of time until he runs out of enemies to target, and Esper _knows_ how dangerous that is.  **(** _Don’t do this. You told me it wouldn’t happen again, didn’t you? Don’t do this again don’t do this again don’t do this again don’t–_ **)**

“Lusa.” He keeps his voice calm, as steady as he can manage. “Lusa, you need to calm down now.” If Lusa hears him, he doesn’t receive a response, is only answered by the disgusting  _crunch_ of Lusa stomping on a mercenary, by the pathetic cries for “ _mercy, please just–”_ from the one left standing. It isn’t long before the final opponent breathes their last, but it doesn’t relieve Esper, only worries him _more_ , because Lusa doesn’t stop until everything (every _one_ )around him is in ruins.  


“Lusa.” He repeats the name, manages to catch the other’s attention this time (for better or worse, he’s not yet sure). It’s a terrifying sight when Lusa turns to regard him; purple lighting coursing over tense muscles, dark stains of blood marring tough skin, fingers curling and uncurling into fists… His eyes were the worst part, were always the worst. Dangerous, feral slits, his Nasod eye glowing an eerie purple (and there was no recognition there, no sign that Lusa had any idea who or what he was looking at).  


“It’s time to calm down, Lusa.” He slowly gestures at the bodies on the ground. “…There aren’t any enemies left. …See?” Lusa doesn’t bother to look, simply keeps a steady gaze, attention fully focused on _him_. “There’s nothing left to fight now, so– _!!”_

It’s instantaneous. One moment he’s talking, a vain attempt to get through to the rampaging Psyker. The next moment Lusa’s right in front of him, hands grabbing him by the collar and dragging him close, _too_ close, before he can finish his sentence (fast, Lusa’s always so fast, and wasn’t _he_ the one who could utilise teleportation?). Esper reaches up to grab at Lusa’s hands, desperately trying to pry them off of him.  **(** _Don’t do this. Don’t do this. Don’t do this. Please don’t do this. I can’t fight you, I can’t fight you, I can’t, I won’t–_ **)**

“Lusa. Lusa, you know me.” He can’t quite keep his voice steady any longer, an edge of desperation creeping into his tone. “It’s me. It’s Esper. You _know_ me. You wouldn’t… You wouldn’t–” A dangerous growl rumbles in Lusa’s throat, the electricity sparking off of him singeing Esper’s hair. **(** _Don’t hurt me. Don’t hurt me. You don’t want to hurt me, you don’t want to hurt me I know you don’t. I can’t fight you, I **won’t** fight you, don’t hurt me don’t–_ **)**  


Lusa’s grip on him loosens slightly, just enough for him to feel a small surge of relief. “…Lusa. It’s okay. You’re gonna be okay, just…” Another growl, and then…

One moment he thinks it might be over. The next, his body erupts into pain, _agony,_ as he’s slammed full-force into the ground. He can hear, can _feel,_ the sickening _snap_ of something inside him breaking (he doesn’t know what, isn’t sure he _wants_ to know what), his vision blurring as his head _cracks_ against the ground. He can only just make out a voice, has a hard time understanding the words (they sound so far away, were they?). “…Esper? …Fuck. Fuck I didn’… Esper _ **–!**_ ”

 **(** _That’s… Lusa. He’s talking again. He’s okay? Lusa’s okay?_ **)**  
It’s the last thought to cross his mind before everything fades to black.


	44. Unwanted Guest

**(** _Don’t make eye contact. Don’t make eye contact. Don’t make eye contact._ **)** Arc repeats the words over and over in his mind, doing his best to avoid looking at his unwanted visitor whilst simultaneously trying to keep a careful eye on the man. Esper had invited himself in and seated himself atop Arc’s desk a while ago ( _completely_ knocking over several stacks of perfectly organised research notes in the process), though the other had yet to speak a word to him, had simply been _watching_ him ever since.  **(** _If I don’t acknowledge him, he’ll leave, right? What is he even **doing** here? What does he **want** with me?_ **)**

He chooses to simply ignore his intruder (after all, wasn’t Lusa always going on about how none of them should bother Esper? he’d already heard poor Psych’s horror stories), instead pulls up a display console and nervously browses through his earlier research. It’s difficult to concentrate, knowing that Esper is there, knowing that Esper is just  _watching_ him, _observing_ him like an animal would its prey (and is that what he was right now? prey?). He shakes his head, pushes the thought from his mind. **(** _Just stop thinking about him. Just ignore him. He’ll go away if you ignore him, he’ll…_ **)**

His thoughts trail off as he hears a noise, something melodic, eerie, unsettling. It takes him a moment to realise what he’s hearing is _Esper,_ the man humming to himself as his head sways from side to side in time to his tune. **(** _Why is he doing that? Why is he still watching me, why is he **doing** that?_ **)** He can’t do it anymore, can’t just keep acting like there’s nothing wrong, like there’s nothing bothering him about this situation. “Uh… Esper..?” His voice is quiet, hesitant, almost fearful (and he inwardly cringes; showing weakness like that couldn’t be a good thing). “What are you doing here..?”

The humming stops abruptly, Esper’s head still tilted to the side as the man continues to stare at him (and somehow his stare feels even more intense than before). “…I’m here to see you.” Esper finally replies, as if the answer were completely obvious. “Why else would I be here?”

“Uh…” Arc swallows heavily, not sure where exactly to go from here. **(** _ **Why** are you here to see me, though? Why **me**? Are you planning on doing something to me? How concerned should I be with your presence? How **safe** am I?_ **)** Questions keep running through his mind, his thoughts blurring by too quickly for him to latch onto one.  


“Hey. Arc.” He nearly jumps when Esper addresses him again, hesitantly meeting the man’s gaze. “…How’s Time been doing lately?”  


“T-Time..?” **(** _Why are you asking about him? He doesn’t want anything to do with you._ **)** “He’s… He’s fine, I think.” It’s a lie. It’s a lie and the both of them know it (because “fine” was not a word that could _ever_ be used to describe Time).  


“…Hmm. Is that so.” Esper finally hops off the desk now, Arc’s heartbeat rapidly increasing as the other approaches him. **(** _Don’t come over here. Don’t come over here. Please don’t–_ **)** Esper stops right in front of him, looking him over for several long moments (and he’s too afraid to move, to say a single word). Esper reaches one hand out, gently ruffling his hair. “…Will you do me a favour, Arc?”  


“…What is it you want..?”  


“Time. Take care of him. …Okay?” Esper withdraws his hand, offering him a small smile (he thinks it’s the first time he’s seen Esper smile. somehow, the sight makes his heart ache). Esper doesn’t say anything further, simply turns and leaves, offering a parting wave as Arc wonders what exactly that whole visit was meant to be about.  


**(** _Was that… really all he wanted..? Why..? I don’t get him at all…_ **)**


	45. You're Disgusting

Add hated being left alone. After years and years (and just how long _had_ it been, he wondered?) of being left to his own devices, of being _trapped_ all by himself in that decrepit library... He’d more than had his fill of solitude. He _hated_ being left alone, but there was one thing he hated even more than that... And that was being left alone... with _him._  


He didn’t like Esper (excluding Lusa, did _anyone_ like Esper?). He didn’t like the way the man was always _staring_ at others _,_ or how he’d start humming creepy tunes to himself if left alone, or the weird questions he’d ask. He didn’t like the way Esper just _lingered,_ how he’d just hang around even when it was obvious he wasn’t wanted, and he _especially_ hated that sinister _laugh._  There were a lot of things he didn’t like about Esper, but this... _This_ wasn’t something he’d ever thought he’d have to deal with.

“...That’s absolutely _revolting.”_ Add mutters, making a disgusted face. He’d wandered into the kitchen for food, and while it was bad enough that he’d even run into Esper amidst this excursion, what the man was doing was even _worse._ Esper had made himself comfortable atop the counter (he didn’t think he’d ever seen Esper use a chair, it was always a desk or a counter, or _something_ that wasn’t meant to be sat on), and he was holding a bag of sugar in one hand. The other hand... was periodically grabbing _handfuls_ of the sweet substance and (rather messily) shoving it into his mouth.  


“...Tastes good.” Esper mumbles, licking the grains off his fingers. “Sweet.” The man holds the bag out towards him now. “...Want some?”  


The disgusted look on his face only intensifies. “Absolutely not. That’s disgusting. _You’re_ disgusting.” 

Esper blinks at that comment, shrugs once, grabs another handful of sugar. “...More for me.”

“Don’t just _keep eating it,_ that’s--” Add makes a noise of frustration, moving closer to Esper and snatching the bag of sugar out of his hands. “Do you know how _bad_ this stuff is for you?!”  


Esper only stares at him wide-eyed in response (and what was that noise? was Esper _whining?_ ), one hand half-heartedly reaching towards the sugar. Add simply moves out of his reach, rolling his eyes. “Don’t even _think_ about it.” He shakes his head. “Do you ever eat anything _normal?”_

Esper nods once. “...Lusa makes dinner sometimes.”

“...And that’s it? That’s the only time you ever really eat?” Esper nods again. “...You’re a _complete_ disaster, you know that?” He sighs, setting the sugar down on the counter well out of Esper’s reach. “...Get down from there. I’ll show you how to make a couple things so you don’t starve to death or something. I mean, just _look_ at you.”  


Esper finally hops off the counter now, an unreadable expression on his face. “...You’re gonna teach me..?”

“Yeah. Didn’t I _just_ say that? Pay attention.” He starts rummaging through the cabinets, looking for something relatively simple to make (because even his experience in cooking was extremely limited, but he _had_ to be better off than Esper).  


“...Thank you, Add.”  


“Yeah, yeah, whatev--” He cuts himself off when he glances at Esper, thrown off by the man’s expression (because Esper looks happy, has he ever seen Esper happy before?). “Uh... N-no problem.” He hurriedly returns to searching the kitchen, sneaking glances at Esper out of the corner of his eye every so often. “L-Look I’m not doing this as a favour to you or anything. It’d just be a hassle if you... Uh...?” He feels a strange pressure on his head, something moving through his hair. It takes him a moment to realise that it’s  _Esper_  (when did he get so close?) and another moment to realise that Esper is _petting_ him. “Wh-What are you..?”  


“Ah... You’re very cute, Add.”  


“Wh--?! D-Don’t say stuff like--” He cuts himself off, a thought dawning on him. “...Esper. _Please_ tell me that isn’t the hand you were licking sugar off of a second ago. Please tell me you aren’t sticking that _in my hair._ ”  


Esper blinks several times and pulls his hand away, staring at it for a moment. “Oh. Whoops.”

He was starting to doubt if this was going to be worth it or not.


	46. Fantasy

Arc keeps trying to convince himself that this is real, that this isn’t just some fantastical dream he’s experiencing. It _feels_ real enough, Mastermind’s hand gripping his chin as the older man traps him against the wall, leaning over him with that disgustingly smug look on his face (but he can’t help but think that looks good on him, that looks _so_ good on him). “...Did you hear me, Arc?” He almost jumps, heart pounding as he struggles to remember how to form words, how to _respond_.  


“I asked you a question, you know.” He can’t meet Mastermind’s gaze, averting his eyes to look _anywhere_ but at the man in front of him. “Arc. Look at me.” He _does_ jump this time (because Mastermind keeps saying his name, and every time he does...). Mastermind’s grip tightens until he finally complies with the order, nervously eyeing his superior and still attempting to form any sort of coherent thoughts. “Answer me.”  


“I-I-I u-uh...” He visibly cringes, face growing impossibly red as he silently berates himself for being unable to so much as _speak_. He’d played this scenario through a thousand times in his mind (maybe more), had thought out so many different responses, so many ways to say how he felt. And now that it was actually happening... He could hardly even _look_ at Mastermind (and it was him, it was only ever around him. Arc was always the perfect picture of composure unless Mastermind was around).  


“Hmm?” Mastermind smirks, obviously enjoying himself. “What’s the matter, Arc? Cat got your tongue?”   


“N-No, I--!” He cuts himself off once he realises how _close_ Mastermind is (and was he that close a moment ago? was he..?).

“...Maybe you just need a little push, then?” It’s all the warning he gets before soft lips press up against his own. It takes him a moment, mind racing as he tries to piece together what just happened, and his heart feels like it might just explode once he finally realises that Mastermind is _kissing_ him (soft and warm and better than he could ever have imagined, and _oh_ had he ever imagined). It doesn’t last long, Mastermind pulling back ever-so-slightly, face as composed as ever (and how did he manage that?). “...Well?”  


Arc couldn’t even remember what question he was supposed to be answering now, couldn’t even be bothered to _care._ He’d finally, _finally_ been given a taste of what he’d been _dreaming_ of for so long, and he wanted, _needed,_ more of it. “I think...” He manages to meet the other’s gaze this time. “...I think we should do that again.” He doesn’t wait for a response, simply brings their lips together again. He can hear a vague noise of surprise from Mastermind before the man responds in kind, firmly pushing him up against the wall now as their kiss deepens.

His hands reach up, fingers tangling in Mastermind’s hair (and it’s soft, his hair is so, _so_ soft), gently pulling on silky strands as he struggles to remember how to breathe. He’s forced to pull away for air (he’s never done this before, he’s never done this and it’s overwhelming, he feels like he might _die_ ), only to realise that Mastermind is going to _give_ him a chance to recover. His breath catches in his throat as his alternate presses rough, _hungry_ kisses against his neck, a hushed moan escaping him as Mastermind _bites_ him, sucks at his skin.

“Enjoying yourself, Arc?” He doesn’t answer, _can’t._ “Should I keep going?” A quick series of nods is all he can manage in reply. “Ah... Arc?” Mastermind pulls away from him now, an odd look on his face (and why would he do that? why would he stop, he’s supposed to keep going he can’t stop _now_ not when we’ve finally--). “Arc? Hey.” Everything around him starts to fade. “Arc!”  


And that’s when he wakes up.

He blinks slowly, groaning to himself as someone nudges his shoulder. “ _Get up_ already. No falling asleep in the lab, we aren’t finished yet.” He bolts upright now, looking around to determine where exactly he was. He slowly remembers. He’d been helping Mastermind with research in his lab, so that meant he’d fallen asleep? 

“Oh, good, you’re up. Don’t let it happen again.” He slowly turns to look at Mastermind, face tinged a slight pink as remnants of his dream replay in his mind. A dream. He can feel his heart sink as he realises that’s all it was (and he should have known that all along, because what hope did _he_ ever have with someone like Mastermind?).

“...Sorry.” he mumbles, shaking his head. “...It won’t happen again, promise.”  


Mastermind rolls his eyes. “You look half-dead. I’ll get you some coffee.” Arc watches him walk away, the events of his dream repeating over and over again in his head. He sighs to himself.

“...I can always dream, right?”  



	47. Kill Your Double

“Wrong.” Esper mutters to himself, gritting his teeth together as he comes to the conclusion that, yet again, he’d landed himself in the wrong timeline. This wasn’t home. This wasn’t where he wanted to be. This was wrong. “Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, _wrong.”_ It was becoming an increasingly frequent word in his vocabulary, and his irritation was only growing along with its usage. “It’s always _wrong,_ when am I going to get it _right_?!”  


How long had he been at it now, he wondered? How long had he been tearing through timelines? How long had he been on this never-ending rampage of his? He’d lost track long ago, had stopped _caring_ (and really, did it even _matter_ at this point?). A frustrated growl escapes him, dynamos erratically shifting behind him. “I don’t have _time_ to waste here, I have to get things _right,_ I have to _fix_ things, I have to...” His words trail off, eyes narrowing.

He calls his dynamos to attention, each of them ready to strike at a moment’s notice. “Who’s there?” he demands, eyes darting in every direction. He can’t spot anyone, and the fact that his dynamos aren’t picking anything up confuses him, yet he can’t quite shake the feeling that someone, or some _thing,_ is watching him. “...I don’t have time to be playing around right now.” he mumbles, shaking his head. “I don’t have time, I don’t have time, I don’t have--”

He doesn’t get a warning. No reading from his dynamos, no sight or sound to indicate another’s presence. Nothing but the feeling of two hands wrapped around his neck from behind, the feeling of warm breath against the back of his neck. “You don’t have time?” A chill runs down his spine when he hears the other speak, because that voice... It’s a voice he knows all too well. It’s not like Lusa’s, not like Mastermind’s, similar, yet noticeably different. No... this voice is _his_. And the speaker...

The grip around his neck tightens, just enough pressure to make sure he’s uncomfortable, that he’s in pain, while still barely allowing him to breathe. “That’s a real shame, you know...” He can hear, can _feel,_ that voice whispering into his ear now, another chill running down his spine. “See... I’ve been doing this for a while. Time travel. So many other Adds, so many other alternates... So many other... well... _me’s_. They make the best toys, you see. And... Well.” A laugh, dark and sinister. “I want to _play.”_

Esper doesn’t wait another moment, tearing through space and teleporting himself a fair ways away from his assailant. “And I _don’t.”_ He growls in response, ordering his dynamos to attack at the same instant he moves himself to safety.   


“I know. None of them ever want to play.” The voice is behind him again (and how is it behind him? how could anyone _instantly_ follow what was _already_ instant teleportation?), and he’s forced to watch as his weapons aim a lethal electrical shock at nothing but thin air. He whirls around to face the other, eyes growing wide when he’s once again met with nothing. “Behind you.” He turns again. “Ah, ah~ Over here now.” Again. “You aren’t very good at this, are you~?” He can’t stand it, the taunting edge to that voice (his _own_ voice), can feel himself growing angrier and angrier with each new torment.

“Stop it.” Esper mutters under his breath. “Stop it stop it stop it stop it stop _moving!”_ He summons a Void Field around himself, finally trapping his assailant in place. He grins, allows himself a moment to be pleased with himself before finally getting a good look at the other. It’s _definitely_ another version of him (and he knew more of him had to exist, but _seeing_ one was somehow surreal), though this version of him seemed... different somehow (older. he looked older, he looked dangerous, he looked _worse_ ). “You’re..?”  


His other self frowns now, unable to move but still able to speak. “...A Void Field. How quaint.” A yawn. “...A little boring though, isn’t it?” 

“I could _kill_ you right now.” Esper growls in response. “I could kill you, I could kill you _so easily_ , you can’t even _move--”_  


“Is that so~?” The voice is behind him again. The voice is behind him again, but it shouldn’t be, _can’t_ be. He was _just_ staring right at the other, had him _completely_ immobilised... “Hey... Tell me something.” His other self is in front of him now, somehow moving despite once again being in the middle of the field. “How long have you been travelling? How many timelines have you seen?” He doesn’t answer, _can’t_ answer, not when his alternate has just smashed his elbow into his face, not when the _blade_ on the other’s armour tears into his flesh. All he can do is stagger backwards, stringing together obscenities as his Void Field finally drops.  


“Not long, right?” The other moves towards him again. “You’ve been through... what? Twenty timelines?” Another blow, this one aimed at his side. “Maybe fifty?” Another. “You’re _weak_.” Another. “I’ll bet I’m the first Esper you’ve even come across.” Another. Esper falls to his knees now, blood spattering onto the ground around him as he uselessly clutches at those of his injuries he can reach.  


“Wh-What are you..?” He looks up at his alternate, his previous anger quickly becoming replaced by _fear_ (and that wasn’t something he was used to feeling, that twisting sensation in his gut telling him _you’re going to die_ ). “H-How many have you..?”  


A sadistic grin slowly spreads across his alternate’s face. “How many? I’ve lost count, I think. Was it hundreds? Thousands?” The other pauses, feigning thoughtfulness before nonchalantly shrugging. “...It doesn’t matter. They’re gone now. All gone~!” A cruel laugh, and the grin returns. “You’ll join them soon.” Esper is thrown backwards a moment later when his double summons six glowing spheres, each of them humming with energy (and what was _that?_ what sort of power was that? something he had yet to discover, something that struck further fear into his heart).

“Don’t worry, don’t worry~” The other waves a dismissive hand, still smiling. “You’ll come right back. I’ll make sure you do. It’s boring otherwise, right~?” He doesn’t get a chance to say anything further, to defend himself at all before one of those humming spheres launches right at him. The last thing he sees is his other self waving farewell, an impish grin plastered on his face. The last thing he hears is a cheerful “See you soon~!”  


It’s the first time he dies.

It isn’t the last.


	48. A Little Help

He’s late. He’s late and he _knows_ it, groaning to himself as he picks up his pace, turning his usual jog into something resembling a sprint. “Please don’t be mad.” he mutters to himself, unease only growing as he finally approaches his destination. He groans again as he nears the door to Add’s place, knocking twice and waiting.

It doesn’t take long for his younger self to answer, Add all but yanking the door open, eyes already narrowing at him. “You’re _late,_ Psych.” the boy grumbles, standing in the doorway with his arms crossed. “You said you’d be here _fifteen minutes_ ago.”

“I know, I know!” He holds up his hands in self-defence. “Look, ya know I’m not the best about this, uh…” He trails off, digging around in his pockets for a moment. “I did bring you something as an apology, though… Ah, here..!” He produces a bar of chocolate, holding the treat out towards Add.  


Add looks at the candy for a moment, glances back at him, back at the chocolate. “…I suppose I can forgive you just this once.” Add snatches up the candy bar, finally moving out of the doorway and beckoning Psych inside. The younger boy hastily unwraps his food, talking between mouthfuls of sweet bliss. “I’ve been working on the damn things all day, but…” A frustrated sigh. “…It’s slow going.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Psych mumbles. Add had contacted him earlier, saying something about his dynamos getting smashed to bits in a dangerous encounter. He figured it _had_ to be pretty serious if the kid was willing to ask for _help._ Knowing that still doesn’t prepare him for the mess laid out on Add’s workspace though, and he sucks in a sharp breath as he takes in the damage. “…Fuck. There’s hardly anything _left_ for me to fix.”  


“I know.” Add mutters. “Why do you think I asked?”  


“So you can just yell at me when things go wrong, right?”  


Add grins in response to that. “Exactly.”

“Figured.” He cracks his knuckles before taking a seat, slowly looking over the wreckage before getting to work. Add watches him in silence for a while, asking him to describe what he’s doing every now and then. He explains as best he can, glancing up periodically to make sure the other boy understands him before continuing on. “Hey… Add.” He glances up once more. “Can I ask ya something?”  


“You just did.”  


“ _Look.”_ Psych rolls his eyes, looking back down at his work. “…Why’d ya ask _me_ to help with this?”   


“What do you mean?”  


“Well… This isn’t exactly my speciality, y’know?” He nods at the dynamos. “If you wanted someone efficient in dynamo repair… why didn’t ya just ask Arc?”  


“Oh. That.” Add takes another bite of chocolate, savouring it for a few moments before continuing. “Arc’s annoying. Pretentious. Hard to even get any help out of him.” Add makes a face. “I don’t like dealing with him much.” A shrug.  


He couldn’t exactly argue with that. “You don’t mind dealing with me, then?” Another glance up at the other.  


“Not really.” Add finishes off his candy, tossing the wrapper into the trash. “You’re _late_ all the time.” A pointed glare in his direction. “But you actually _help_ instead of just brushing me off. And you always explain what you’re doing so I can fix it myself next time… Uh…” Add scratches at the back of his head, averting his eyes. “Thanks for that, by the way…”  


Psych blinks in surprise, quickly redirecting his attention back to his work once more. “…No problem. Someone’s gotta show ya the ropes, right?” He beckons Add closer now. “C’mere. You do it. I’ll walk ya through the steps.”

He falls silent for the most part, guiding Add when he needs to and taking over when the boy can’t quite figure something out. It’s a slow process, and he figures it’ll take _days_ to fully repair the machines at the rate they’re going. It’s not a pleasant thought, realising how much training he’s going to lose to this.

Still, when he sees the look on Add’s face every time he makes even a small amount of progress… He figures there are worse ways he could be spending his time.


	49. If You're Going To Be The Death Of Me...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tokyo Ghoul AU of sorts.
> 
> **Warnings** for **Cannibalism**.

Lusa inhales sharply, gritting his teeth together as a familiar pain cuts into him. He’s used to it by now, the feeling of sharp teeth digging into his shoulder, of his flesh being ripped, shredded, mauled, torn off of him in sizeable, _bloody_ chunks. He’s used to it, but that doesn’t dull the pain (raw, pulsing pain that reduces him to a throbbing mass of _agony_ ), and it definitely doesn’t make it any easier to come to terms with what he’s doing, what he’s _allowing_ to be done.  


“...Hey. Take it easy, Esper.” he mutters, wincing as the other ghoul takes another, larger bite out of him. It’s a gruesome image (it always is, always will be), blood dripping from Esper’s chin as the man devours any, _every_ , bit of meat he can reach. “Ya take _too_ much an’ I ain’t gonna be able t’ recover, y’know.” He wonders how long he’ll be able to keep recovering anyways, a voice in the back of his mind reminding him that it takes him longer and longer to regenerate every time they do this (and how long until he stops altogether?)  


Esper doesn’t answer him of course, hardly even acknowledges him when he’s eating. He’s a completely different person when he’s hungry, and Lusa knows that all too well (and isn’t that why he’s doing this in the first place? isn’t that why this messed up situation of theirs started?). A strained hiss escapes him as Esper tears into him again, as he hears, _feels,_ the sickening, _wet_ sounds of flesh being torn from bone.

It hurts. It hurts more than he’d ever imagined anything could, simply _letting_ the other eat him alive. He squeezes his eyes shut as Esper continues his meal, wincing periodically as more and more of him is taken, _devoured_ (and he’d have to stop Esper soon, before he lost too much of himself. that was the hard part, that was always the hard part). His teeth grind together painfully (so hard he’s almost afraid they might break) as he wills himself to wait, to let Esper have just a little more time, a little more nourishment.

He needs to do this, he reminds himself. _Has_ to do this. Because what was the alternative? Esper was dangerous if left unchecked, _too_ dangerous. The man was notorious among humans and ghouls alike for his hunger-driven bloodlust. He wouldn’t stop at just one or two kills, not even three or four, would hardly even _touch_ his first meal before moving onto something (some _one_ ) fresh. It was like some sort of sick and twisted _game_ to Esper, and once he got started, there _was_ no stopping him; not until he’d grown bored of his little rampage.

Esper was a menace, a danger to himself and anyone else in the vicinity (human and ghoul alike, the man wasn’t picky), but Lusa would be lying if he said that was the reason why he was putting himself through this over and over again. More than the immediate danger (more than the merciless _slaughter_ ), he simply worried about the _attention_ Esper drew to himself. Humans were only getting more and more efficient at tracking down and exterminating their kind, and with the trail of carnage Esper always left in his wake...

This was the easiest way. No needless slaughter, no missing persons to lead back to either of them (and wasn’t _he_ the only one strong enough to keep Esper in one place for a meal?)... 

“Hey. Esper.” He pushes the other away from himself now, holding him back. “Y’ gotta stop now. I can’t handle much more’n this.” Esper growls in response, eyes still that dangerous _black_ that say he’s _hungry. “_ Esper...” For a moment he’s worried the other won’t listen, that things are about to get dangerous for him. He’s more relieved than he lets on when Esper finally nods, eyes slowly returning to normal.  


“...Sorry, Lusa.” Esper mumbles, quickly glancing at what was left of Lusa’s side before just as quickly averting his eyes from the disturbing wound. An obvious look of guilt settles on his face. “...Sorry.”  


“’S fine.” he reassures. “I’ll regenerate. Always do.” Except it’s getting harder to recover each and every time, and that voice in the back of his head is there again, whispering that eventually this won’t work anymore, that this is nothing but a dangerousand _temporary_ solution. He shakes his head, leans forward to press a quick kiss to Esper’s lips. It’s enough to distract the both of them, Esper returning the gesture seconds later (blood. esper tastes like blood, like his _own_ blood, but even that much is enough to spark his own hunger).  


The thoughts are cleared from his mind for now (they’ll be back, they always come back), and the only thing that matters for the time being is _Esper_.   
It doesn’t matter if this was only a temporary solution or not.  
What mattered was _now._


	50. Miniature

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An AU where everything is the same, except Esper is only 4 inches tall.

The time “3:26“ displayed in bright blue on his alarm clock is the first thing Lusa sees when he cracks his eyes open. It takes him a moment to register what exactly he’s looking at, and a long, slurred string of curses escape him as his mind slowly starts to wake itself up. “...Three in th’ fuckin’ mornin’.” he mumbles to himself. “It’s three in th’ fuckin’ mornin’ what th’  _fuck_ is...” He grumbles to himself for a few moments longer before rolling over, too tired to remember why he’d woken up in the first place.  


That’s when he hears it again, a loud, repeated banging sound coming from down the hall. “...Th’ hell is...” That’s _also_ when he realises that he’s alone, when he realises that Esper is _missing_. It didn’t take him long to put two and two together. “...’M gonna kill him.” he mutters to himself. “’M gonna fuckin’ kill him, I swear.”

He slowly drags himself out of bed, already knowing that Esper isn’t going to cut it out unless he goes to check things out. “Gonna kill him.” he keeps mumbling to himself as he stumbles through his doorway and out into the hall. “Fuckin’ three in th’ mornin’, th’ hell does he think he’s...”

It doesn’t take him long to track down the culprit, the sounds leading him into the kitchen where one pint-sized Esper awaits him. The tiny terror is currently slamming his dynamos up against one of the kitchen cabinets, the cause of the noise _and_ the cause of the fresh scratches embedded in the wood (and Mastermind was going to throw a fit about this later, he knew). “Lusa!” Esper’s attention turns towards him now, the boy teleporting up onto the counter so he could see Lusa more clearly. “Lusa! Lusa!”

“...Esper.” He crosses his arms, glaring at the miniature figure before him. “D’ya know what time it is?” Esper shakes his head in response. “I’ll tell ya then. It’s near four in th’ mornin’. Four. In th’ fuckin’ mornin’.” His glare intensifies as he continues to stare at Esper, who either doesn’t seem to understand what’s being said, or doesn’t care.  


“Lusa, I’m hungry.” Esper points at the refrigerator. “Get me some food.”  


“...Is’at what y’ woke me up f’r?” He sighs, rolling his eyes. “...Get y’r own damn food, Esper. ‘M goin’ back t’ bed.” He lets out a loud yawn, turning and starting to head back to his room.  


“Lusa!” Esper teleports again, this time reappearing perched on Lusa’s shoulder. “No! No no no! You can’t go back to bed yet! I’m _hungry!_ ”  


“Stop yellin’ in m’ ear, Esper.” He winces, plucking Esper off his shoulder and holding him up in front of his face. “Look. We’ve gone o’er this b’fore. What are we s’pposed t’ do at night?”  


Esper rolls his eyes. “Sleep.”

“And what are we _not_ s’pposed t’ do?”  


“...Wake you up.”  


“Exactly.” Another glare. “So _why_ did’ya think this was a good idea?”  


“I told you already, I’m _hungry!”_ Esper teleports out of his grip now, appearing on the counter once more. The tiny boy points towards the fridge once more. “I want ice cream.” Esper gestures at himself. “...Too small to open the door.”

“Y’ can’t jus’ teleport y’rself in there?”   


“Lusa, it’s _cold!”_ Esper stomps his feet in agitation, hands balling up into tiny fists. “Open the freezer!”  


“A’ight, a’ight, stop yellin’ already.” Lusa pulls the door to the freezer open, rummaging around inside in search of the ice cream Esper was demanding. “I really gotta stop spoilin’ y’ like this.” he mutters, more to himself than to Esper. “Look at you, wakin’ me up at fuckin’ 4AM for fuckin’ ice cream. An’ here I am actually fuckin’ gettin’ it for ya.” He finally pulls out a carton of chocolate ice cream, popping the top off and chucking it at Esper (who only barely manages to dodge it in time). “One spoonful.” He holds up a single finger. “Tha’s all y’r gettin’.”  


“At least two, Lus--”  


“ _One.”_ His glare returns as he grabs a spoon from the utensil drawer. “Tha’s more’n enough f’r ya. _Especially_ this late at night. I shouldn’t even be givin’ ya this, y’ fuckin’ nuisance.” He scoops a generous amount of the ice cream out before holding the spoon out towards the other. Esper wastes absolutely no time in helping himself, devouring the dessert so quickly that brain freeze sets in. Esper’s three tails stand on end as he stumbles backwards, clutching at his head and whining loudly.  


“...I’ve told y’ before not t’ do that.” Lusa laughs, grabbing the lid off the counter and closing the container before popping it back into the freezer. “Ya deserved that.” He picks Esper up while the menace is still stunned, yawning once more before finally heading back to bed. It isn’t until he deposits Esper atop his pillow that the other finally seems to come back to his senses. 

“...Are we going back to sleep?”  


“Yes.” Lusa glances at the clock, groaning when the numbers “4:13“ flash at him. “...F’r jus’ a couple hours, at least.” Another yawn, and he lays himself back down, pulling the covers up over himself. “Y’ wake me up again an’ I really _will_ kill ya this time.”  


Esper lets out his own tiny yawn in response. “...I won’t...” Esper crawls closer to him, pressing a small kiss against his cheek. “Thanks, Lusa. Night night, love you.” 

He watches as Esper curls up beside him now, breathing slowing as he drifts back off to sleep. “...Yeah. ‘Night, Esper.” He sighs, closing his eyes once more. “...Love you, too.”  



	51. Mediators

None of the Tracers were exactly surprised to walk in on Lusa and Mastermind at each other’s throats _again._ It was becoming an all-too frequent occurrence, and at this point the trio almost _expected_ it every time they came to visit. They even had a system worked out on how to deal with the two older men now, Time and Psych always holding Lusa back while Arc did his best to talk Mastermind down. Though, just because they were used to it, didn’t mean it was always _easy._  


“Lusa, calm _down_!” Time yells, desperately trying to keep one of the man’s arms locked behind his back. Psych was having a much easier time with Lusa’s other arm, though that wasn’t stopping him from muttering curses under his breath every time the Psyker tried to jerk out of his grip.

“Let _go_ a’ me already!” Lusa growls, tugging the arm Time was holding forward and dragging the poor Tracer along with it. “He’s the one who fuckin’ started it! Jus’ lemme at ‘im already, one good punch is all I fuckin’ need, jus’ _one..!”_  


“…Are you done yet?” Mastermind asks, rolling his eyes and yawning into his hand. “It’s never anything but threats from you. Just some loutish dog whose bark is much worse than his bite.”  


“Th’ _fuck_ did y’ jus’ call me?!” Even Psych is having a hard time keeping Lusa back now, the man’s temper flaring to dangerous levels.  


“Mastermind…” Arc draws his older self’s attention, frowning slightly as he keeps a careful eye on the other two Tracers. “Maybe you should just let him cool down… You know he’s just going to keep at it if you’re still around.” Arc makes a thoughtful humming noise. “…Like you said, he’s a dog. If you leave, he’ll forget all about it in a few minutes. …At this rate he might kill Time if he doesn’t calm down soon.”  


Mastermind glances at Arc for a moment, redirects his gaze to Lusa, then back to Arc. An irritated sigh leaves his lips. “…Fine. I don’t have time to deal with this nuisance in the first place.” He takes his leave with a single wave of his hand, Arc sighing in relief.

“’Ey! Get back here, I ain’t done wi’ ya yet, ya fuckin’–”  


“ _ **Dad!** ” _Psych yells, gritting his teeth together as he struggles to keep Lusa in place. “Calm _down_ already!”  


Lusa finally does stop now, freezing in place before slowly turning his head to regard Psych. Time slowly lets go of the Psyker’s other arm, backing away and laughing to himself. “…Psych. …Uh. What did y’ jus’ call me?”

“Huh?” Psych lets go of Lusa as well now, face slowly turning a dark shade of red as he realises his slip of the tongue. “I-I uh… I d-didn’t mean to– I mean– Uh..!” Time is cracking up now, and even Arc is struggling not to laugh. “L-Look, I just–!”  


Lusa joins in on the laughter now, lively and loud. “Y’r a’ight, kid.” He reassures, ruffling Psych’s hair as the Tracer continues to stumble over his words. It takes a while for the laughter to die down, the earlier conflict all but forgotten afterwards.

Things didn’t always exactly go according to plan, but somehow they always managed to keep those two from killing each other. They supposed that was the important part.


	52. Suppression

**[** _“...Huh?” Lusa blinks slowly, blearily, eventually sitting up in bed to regard him. “...Esper? ...What time is it..?” A glance at the clock, which reads 3:45AM. “...What d’ya want this early?”_   


_“Bad dream.” he mumbles, not quite able to make eye contact.  
_

_“...Again?” Lusa asks, and his tone changes from tired to concerned. “D’ya wanna talk about it..?”  
_

_“...Not really.”  
_

_“Alright.” The man scoots over, making room before patting the space on the bed next to himself. “...Y’ can sleep here tonight. Should’a jus’ done that in th’ first place. Told ya already I don’t mind.”  
_

_“...Thanks.” he whispers in response, climbing into bed and curling up against Lusa’s side.  
_

_“Yeah... No problem.” A yawn, a quick kiss against Esper’s forehead and an arm around his waist, and Lusa falls back asleep quickly enough. It takes him longer; it always does. But listening to Lusa’s steady breathing helps, having someone there helps.  
_

_Lusa helps._ **]**

It’s not the same anymore, with Lusa gone. How long had it been now? A few days? Weeks? Surely it hadn’t been months? When was the last time he’d seen Lusa?

He curls up on Lusa’s bed, pulling the blankets up over his head. The sheets still smell like Lusa, and he’s sure that’s the only reason he’s still able to sleep at night. “...When are you coming back?”

He receives no answer of course, doesn’t expect one. Nothing but silence, that unending, unsettling silence. A single thought creeps into his mind, dark and terrifying, feeding off his fears. A single voice whispering that maybe Lusa was--   
He shoves it to the back of his mind, draws the blankets tighter around himself.

It’s nothing, he’s sure.

\------

**[** _“Th’ hell d’ya think y’r doin’, Esper?” Lusa snaps, eyes narrowing as his attention is reluctantly drawn away from his work. “How many times d’ I have t’ tell ya t’ fuck off before y’ leave me in peace?”_

_He simply giggles in response, an almost childlike smile slowly spreading across his face now that Lusa is finally focusing on him. It never took long, distracting Lusa from his constant tinkering, his odd obsession with furthering his_ _**armour,** of all things. “How many times do I have to tell you I’m not leaving before you take a hint~?” He finally answers, nearly singing his words._

_“Look, Esper. I **really** don’ have time t’ be wastin’ on--” Lusa doesn’t get to finish that thought. He doesn’t get to finish because suddenly Esper’s lips are pressed against his own, slender fingers reaching up to tangle in unruly hair.  
_

_“If it’s time you’re worried about...” he mumbles, stealing another kiss. “I can fix that, you know.” Lusa doesn’t argue any further, only pulls him closer, kisses him further, longer, a growing hunger. He grins to himself.  
_

_He always gets what he wants._ **]**

A sigh escapes his lips as he sits atop Lusa’s workbench, kicking his legs back and forth as his eyes rove the workshop. Lusa isn’t here, hasn’t been for a while, if the thin layer of dust coating the room is any indication. The bench is covered in various forgotten parts and tools, all left in disarray (and it’s wrong, he thinks. it’s wrong because Lusa doesn’t do that, doesn’t leave things disorganised like that unless he’s coming straight back). He picks up a miniature screwdriver, rolling the tool back and forth in his hand.

“...Lusa.” he mumbles, frowning slightly. “Lusa, Lusa, Lusa, Lusa...” He repeats the name over and over, as if chanting it would somehow summon the man himself. It doesn’t, of course, and another sigh leaves him. “...This is _boring._ Where _are_ you?”  


He tosses the screwdriver aside, listening to the resulting clatter as it disturbs the other neglected tools. Another sigh before he hops down from the workbench, glancing over the room one last time before taking his leave. He pauses in the doorway, an uneasy, somehow familiar feeling building in the pit of his stomach. He forces the feeling away, shaking his head, eyes cast downward.

He tells himself it’s nothing.

\------

**[** _”Esper, don’t do th--!” It’s too late by the time Lusa attempts to stop him, a mischievous grin crossing his face as he knocks several glass vials off the desk. “Esper!” Lusa’s eyes grow wide now, something between fear and resignation crossing his face. “Mastermind is gonna fuckin’ **kill** ya.”_

_“I’d like to see him try.” he muses, picking up an expensive-looking piece of equipment before haphazardly tossing it onto the floor as well. It had almost become a hobby of his, destroying things in Mastermind’s lab. He wasn’t sure which was more fun, how worried Lusa got over it, or how angry Mastermind would get. Or maybe his favourite part was ditching Lusa the instant their alternate self showed up, leaving him all alone to explain the mess.  
Yes, he decides. That was it._

_“Esper!” Lusa’s agitation only grows as he continues to toss Mastermind’s belongings around. “Would you **please** jus’ cut it out alr--” Lusa freezes, and that’s all the warning Esper needs.  
_

_“Hmmm, have fun, Lusa.”  
_

_“Don’t ya fuckin’ dare, Esper, I swear t’--”  
_

_An impish grin spreads across his face. “Bye bye~” And with a single wave of his hand, he’s gone, just before a furious Mastermind enters the room. He’s sure he’ll get an earful from Lusa later, but that’s fine._

_It’s always worth it._ **]**

The sound of glass shattering against the ground does nothing for him now, not when it isn’t followed by shouts of “ _Esper! Don’t do that!”._ Not when there’s no one around to tell him _not_ to. He groans in frustration, tails swishing in irritation as he leans against the wall of Mastermind’s lab. “This is _boring.”_

“If you’re bored, then _leave_.” Mastermind mutters, causing Esper to jump when the man seems to appear from nowhere (and had he been _that_ distracted that he hadn’t noticed?). A pause, and Mastermind looks him over. “...It’s been a while. ...And you aren’t exactly looking well. Are you--”  


“Hey.” he interrupts, earning an irritated look from the other. “When’s Lusa coming back? He’s been gone for... How long?” A troubled look crosses his face. “I... can’t remember. I can’t remember how long it’s been.” A shake of his head. “...When will he be back?”  


“Esper...” Mastermind adopts a pained expression (and has he seen that look on Mastermind before? he hasn’t, has he? why does that feel familiar? why does that _scare_ him?). “We’ve... been over this, Esper. Lusa’s not coming back.”  


“...What?” The first thing that registers is fear, those thoughts that he works so hard to keep locked away in the back of his mind fighting to claw their way to the surface. The next thing that registers is _anger,_ one hand clutching at his head as he violently shoves the thoughts back, glaring at Mastermind. “That’s not funny.”  


“Esper... You can’t keep doing this. You can’t just keep forcing yourself to--”  


“Shut _up!”_ he warns.  


“Do you think this is what he would have--”  


“ _ **Shut up!**_ ” He doesn’t stick around, can’t, warps himself away before things get bad, before he starts remembering... What? What was it that he was forgetting? Those dark thoughts whisper from the far corners of his mind once more, taunting him, inviting him.  
He locks them away yet again, further, tighter.

He convinces himself it’s nothing.


	53. Heat

It’s cold. It’s cold and the power is out. The heat isn’t working at all, and he can’t manage to find anything suitable to use as a heat source in the meanwhile. It’s _freezing_ , and Time absolutely cannot _stand_ it.

“Can’t believe this.” Time mutters to himself, teeth chattering ever-so-slightly as he attempts to steady his own shivering. His hands move to grip at his arms, entirely too cold underneath his suddenly too-light jacket. “Coldest night of the year and then _this_ happens.” He glares at his dynamos, hovering beside him. “Why the hell did I never think to install any sort of heating system? What good are you? Useless pieces of…”  


He stumbles out of his room, shivering all the while as he traverses the dark hallway, his dynamos lighting the way. Maybe one of the other two Tracers had managed to figure something out to deal with the extreme cold, something he could replicate and use for himself. He could hope, right?

The door to Psych’s room is the first one he reaches, his hand almost trembling too much for him to knock. He can hear a shuffling noise from within, several long, agonising moments passing before Psych finally pulls the door open. The first thing Time notices is that Psych’s face is red. The second thing he notices is that Psych is _sweating_.

“H-How the hell are y-you..?” He can’t control his shivering any longer. He’d never been any good at handling the cold.  


“Time..?” Psych blinks in confusion, stepping aside to allow the other into the room. “What’s going on?”  


“It’s _freezing.”_ Time mutters, his good eye glaring at Psych. “I’m over here d- _dying,_ and you-?!”  


Psych blinks again, realisation slowly dawning on his face. “…Oh. It is pretty cold out, huh?” The boy shrugs, closing the door before moving to sit on the edge of his bed. “I’ve been working out, guess I hadn’t really noticed.” 

“…Working out.” Time repeats, more surprised than he ought to have been. He’d never even stopped to consider that as an _option_ when running through possible ways to warm himself up, but then again, he was never one for physical activity. Although… “Hey…” He slowly approaches Psych, sitting much closer to him than he normally would.  


“Time..?”  


“Look, don’t get the wrong idea, just…” He glares at Psych again before quickly averting his gaze. He leans against Psych, almost sighing in relief when he feels just how _warm_ the other Tracer is. “You’re just… really warm, okay…” he mumbles, voice trailing off.

Psych makes a noise of confusion, but makes no attempt to move him. “…Are you really that cold?” A short pause. “…I guess you always have complained about that, huh?” Psych pulls away from him, repositioning before easily lifting Time and pulling him onto his lap, both arms wrapping around him.

“Wh-What the hell are you _–?!_ ”  


“Calm down. It’s warmer, isn’t it?”  


Time can’t argue that point, can only offer an indignant huff in response to being _held_. A long silence passes between the two of them, Time’s shivering slowly fading away as he finally starts to warm up. “…Thanks.” he eventually mumbles, face red (and he’s suddenly glad Psych can’t actually _see_ his face from this position).

“Heh. No problem.”  


“Look, Psych. In the morning, this… This never happened, okay?”  


“Aw, that’s kinda harsh isn’t it?” Psych whines. “You’re just gonna use me like that? …But okay. If you say so, Time.” He can’t see Psych smiling, but he knows the boy is, can hear it in his voice. “Guess I’ll just have to enjoy it while I can.”


End file.
